IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The most important part of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The most crucial aspect of
science
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 is to contribute to people’s lives.
This
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 essay disagrees with the following statement, as
science
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 should not only be
utilized
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utilised
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 for the betterment of the people but
also
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 for the
environment
Use synonyms
 that they live in, the animals in it and
also
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature. Apart from focusing solely on humans, the
environment
Use synonyms
 holds equal importance in the case of making use of
science
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.
Moreover
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, if humanity succeeds in
minimizing
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minimising
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 harmful impacts
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature as well
improving
Correct word choice
as improving
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Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 sustainability with the help of
science
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, it will automatically enhance our lives.
Long term
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Long-term
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 research has proven that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 daily reports of our surroundings through technology
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 extremely beneficial for scientists to preserve
Correct article usage
the long
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long term
Use the right word
long-term
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 health of our ecosystem. Wildlife is the symbol of our natural sanctuary
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 their role in maintaining healthy ecosystems, providing essential ecological services, and contributing to human well-being, both economically and
culturally
Punctuation problem
culturally,
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 is incomparable.
According to
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 multiple studies, preserving the essence of wildlife is the key to a better future for not only them but
also
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 for us
,
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.
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needless
Fix capitalization
Needless
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 to
say
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say,
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 it’s our responsibility to protect them.
For example
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, if proper conservation techniques are applied following successful
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
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 and
attempts
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attempts,
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 it will lead to a rise in their population
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is crucial for the planet’s future. In conclusion,
science
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 can be the path for
sustainable
Correct article usage
a sustainable
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environment
Use synonyms
 and conserved wildlife
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 in turn would eventually be the cause for a better life.
Consequently
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,
this
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 ensures that our quality of living is upgraded
while
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,
on the other hand
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,
vital
Correct article usage
the vital
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 essence of
this
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 world that we live in
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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also
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 heeded with utmost significance.

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Task Achievement
Make sure all your main points are clear and easy to understand.
Coherence
Use clearer linking words to show connections between ideas, like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally'.
Task Achievement
Try to give more examples to support your points.
Content
The idea of balancing human needs with environmental concerns is strong.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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