IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, fast food become spart of everyday life. It affects people’s lifestyle and diet as well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

There is no denying the fact that fast
fare
Verb problem
food has
show examples
 become a part of everyday life.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that speedy meals
began
Verb problem
are
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 part of every week, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that useful.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, save your moment.
In other words
Linking Words
, when you spend half your
day
Use synonyms
 between work and travel , you will be very tired when you arrive at your house,so you do not have energy to cook ,
also
Linking Words
 you are already hungry.
In addition
Linking Words
, you need to eat something quickly prepering to eating ,
then
Linking Words
 take a rest.
For example
Linking Words
, as you know, there are a lot of restaurants that sell healthy
foodstuff
Check wording
food
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, but when you work all
day
Use synonyms
, you need to eat unhealthy food, I mean a lot of carbs and calories to recharge your energy after a hard
day
Use synonyms
, like burgers or chicken with pasta. Another point to consider , as you know , there are many delivery companies which allow you to order from anywhere. It is possible to say that you can reserve your lunch or dinner on
Use synonyms
day
Correct article usage
the day
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 when you stay on your sofa
,
Punctuation problem
;
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moreover
Linking Words
, everything is easy to know just by your phone, you can order and pay.
For instance
Linking Words
, when you have guests and you want to spend all their
hour
Check wording
time
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 with them , you will not think about cooking or going to get
meal
Correct article usage
a meal
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. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that it is helpful to save
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 and energy.

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Task Response
Your introduction could be clearer. Make sure to state your opinion more directly and clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use linking words to connect your ideas better, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'. This will make your essay easier to follow.
Task Response
It’s important to add more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
Task Achievement
You've included relevant points about saving time and convenience of fast food.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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