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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows numbers of thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries in 1990 and 1999.

The line graph shows numbers of thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries in 1990 and 1999.
The line graph shows the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
thefts
Use synonyms
 per thousand vehicles in four countries between 1990 and 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of car
thefts
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 in Great Britain was the highest among other countries.
While
Linking Words
 Sweden experienced an upward trend
the
Change preposition
throughout the
show examples
 whole
period
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of
thefts
Use synonyms
 in France and Canada gradually decreased until the end of the
period
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. In 1990,the number of
Sweden
Check wording
apply
show examples
thefts
Use synonyms
 In 1990,the numbers of Sweden
thefts
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 were increased gradually from 8 to 13
thefts
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 in 1995,before it stable between 1996 and
1998
Punctuation problem
1998,
show examples
 around 12
Use synonyms
thefts
Punctuation problem
thefts,
show examples
then
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it rose to 15thefts in 1999.
However
Linking Words
,France and Canada's
thefts
Use synonyms
 declined
along
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
period
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 from approximately 8-10
thefts
Use synonyms
 at the beginning to 7
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
thefts
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the highest
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
thefts
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 in Great
Britian
Correct your spelling
Britain
 it
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 with 17
thefts
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,
then
Linking Words
dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
show examples
 to 14
thefts
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, after
show examples
after
Correct word choice
and
show examples
that
Use the right word
then
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
experienced
Wrong verb form
experiencing
show examples
 a fluctuation until 1999.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words thefts, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "numbers of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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