IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays many students live with their families while others go to another city to study at university. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of both scenarios. Include relevant examples in your answer.

There is a tendency for most of the students to live with their parents
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 only
the
Correct article usage
a
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 minority move out to another city to study at university. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss the positive and negative sides of it. It is obvious that moving out is an anxious process for a person who has never tested it before. But over
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
 you feel less stressed as you get gradually used to it. Apart from
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 there are
number
Correct article usage
a number
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 of other reasons that one could think of prior
or
Change preposition
to or
show examples
 post
moving
Correct article usage
the moving
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 period. Those are the financial side of it
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 well as more cleaning up and home duties to be done.
However
Linking Words
, you are gaining independence until you are good enough to meet your own needs.
This
Linking Words
 way you get yourself prepared for
the marriage
Replace the word
married
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 life when you are responsible for every person
of
Change preposition
in
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 your own family.
On the other hand
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, staying with the family has its pros and cons. The most important would be staying with the beloved ones, surrounded
with
Change preposition
by
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 love and care.
Similarly
Linking Words
 important things will be having financial support, which allows you not to work after classes,
focus
Correct word choice
and focus
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 more on studies.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
no
Rephrase
apply
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either
Correct word choice
neither
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 less clean up
or
Correct word choice
nor
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 home duties are the advantages of staying with family. Like everything else, it has disadvantages. The only thing that I can think of right now is less independence than you would have
while
Linking Words
 moving away.

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task achievement
Make sure your main points are clearly stated and supported with examples. Add specific situations or experiences to make your argument stronger.
coherence
Work on linking your ideas more smoothly. Use transition words to connect sentences and paragraphs effectively.
coherence
Try to organize your ideas in a clearer way, maybe by separating pros and cons more distinctly. Each idea should be easy to follow.
task achievement
You discussed both living with family and moving out, showing a balanced view of the topic.
coherence
Your introduction clearly states the topic, setting a good foundation for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Emotional support
  • Independence
  • Self-reliance
  • Familiar environment
  • Social experiences
  • Responsibility
  • Personal growth
  • Homesickness
  • Financial strain
  • Diverse cultures
  • Networking opportunities
  • Family expectations
  • New identity
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