IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In today’s fast-paced world, financial stability is essential for a secure and stress-free
life
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. I strongly agree that saving
money
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 is important for everyone, including young people, as it prepares individuals for unexpected emergencies and helps achieve long-term financial goals.
Firstly
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, saving
money
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 is crucial because
life
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 is full of uncertainties. Unexpected events
such
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 as medical emergencies, job losses, or natural disasters can occur at any time, and having financial reserves can significantly reduce stress during
such
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 times.
For example
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, during the 2004 tsunami in Sri Lanka, many families suffered severe losses and struggled to recover because they did not have emergency funds.
This
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 highlights the importance of setting aside
money
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 regularly to protect oneself against unforeseen situations.
Secondly
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, saving
money
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 from a young age can lead to financial freedom in the future.
Instead
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 of living paycheck to paycheck, individuals who build savings early can later rely on interest income or invest in assets that generate passive income.
This
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 not only offers a better quality of
life
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 but
also
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 allows people to retire earlier or pursue goals
such
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 as travel or starting a business.
Moreover
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, understanding the value of
money
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 and budgeting at a young age can lead to better financial decisions throughout
life
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. That said, saving is not the only smart financial strategy. Investing in assets like property, gold, or shares can
also
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 yield significant returns over time.
For instance
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, a property purchased a few years ago may now be worth double or triple its original value.
However
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, having basic savings as a foundation before investing is essential to avoid financial instability in case the investment doesn’t perform as expected. In conclusion, I believe that saving
money
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 is essential for everyone, including young people. Not only does it provide security during emergencies, but it
also
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 opens the door to greater financial independence in the future.
While
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 investments are
also
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 beneficial, saving should be the first step toward a stable financial future.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and presents clear opinions. Make sure to restate your main points slightly differently in your conclusion.
coherence
Your points are well organized and flow smoothly, but you could use more linking words to connect ideas better, like 'furthermore' or 'however'.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, adding one more specific example for the second main point could strengthen your argument.
coherence
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and sets up the essay nicely, which is a strong start.
task achievement
Your point about the importance of savings in emergencies is very effective and relevant.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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