IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
The graph
illustrations
Replace the word
illustrates
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 the manufacturing process for making
sugar
Use synonyms
 from
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the process involves seven main stages, beginning with the growth of
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Use synonyms
 and ending
in
Change preposition
with
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 the drying and cooling of
sugar
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Use synonyms
 usually
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 to grow for 12 to 18 months. In the
next,
Linking Words
mature
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Use synonyms
 can be harvested, and there are two methods to choose
for
Change preposition
from for
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 picking
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Use synonyms
: machine and manual.
Then
Linking Words
, the harvested
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Use synonyms
 will be made the
juice
Use synonyms
 by machines. In the next stage, limestone filtration is used to purify
juice
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, which will make the cloudy
juice
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become
Verb problem
apply
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very clean. After that,
need
Correct pronoun usage
we need
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 to make syrup,and the change of
juice
Use synonyms
 into syrup requires an evaporator
,
Punctuation problem
;
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this
Linking Words
 step of heating is important.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, a centrifuge is used, and the function of a centrifuge is to
separates
Wrong verb form
separate
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals from syrup. In the final stage, drying and cooling are crucial steps that will ultimately produce
sugar
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes, juice with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • manufacturing process
  • cleaning
  • sanitation
  • quality control
  • crushing
  • extracted juice
  • boiling
  • concentrated syrup
  • crystallization
  • sugar crystals
  • separation
  • molasses
  • purity
  • quality
  • food processing
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