IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
 figure below illustrates the
detail
Replace the word
detailed
show examples
 and significant manufacturing
process
Use synonyms
 of obtaining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
 from
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 total item of the diagram has
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 the whole
process
Use synonyms
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 produced from
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane significantly.
This
Linking Words
process
Use synonyms
 can be described as two different parts, which
included
Wrong verb form
include
show examples
 the
process
Use synonyms
 before shaping and
shaping
Correct article usage
the shaping
show examples
process
Use synonyms
. First of all , the
process
Use synonyms
 of before
shaping
Use the right word
pre-shaping
show examples
 period is
initially
Linking Words
 from the growing
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 12-18 months and
then
Linking Words
obtain
Wrong verb form
obtaining
show examples
 the
sugar
Use synonyms
 canes.
Besides
Linking Words
, the
sugar
Use synonyms
 canes can be harvested by
Mechanization
Change the spelling
mechanisation
show examples
 and
humanization
Change the spelling
humanisation
show examples
. After the harvesting, the
sugar
Use synonyms
 canes will be crushed
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the machine to get the juice.
Then
Linking Words
, the juice will be put into the limestone filter to purify. After evaporating by heat, the juice will become the syrup.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the centrifuge
comtinuely
Correct your spelling
continuously
 separates
sugar
Use synonyms
 c

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • manufacturing process
  • cleaning
  • sanitation
  • quality control
  • crushing
  • extracted juice
  • boiling
  • concentrated syrup
  • crystallization
  • sugar crystals
  • separation
  • molasses
  • purity
  • quality
  • food processing
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