IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
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 seven distinct
stage
Fix the agreement mistake
stages
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,
Punctuation problem
. It
show examples
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the procedure is linear,
staring
Use the right word
starting
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 from
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Use synonyms
 growing and culminating in drying and cooling
sugar
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it takes 12 to 18 months for
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Use synonyms
 to grow
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, the mature
canes
Use synonyms
 are harvested in two ways,one is by
man
Use the right word
hand
show examples
 and the other is by
harvesting
Correct article usage
a harvesting
show examples
 machine
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 has much higher efficiency than
labors
Use the right word
labour
show examples
.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Use synonyms
 are squeezed into
juice
Use synonyms
 in
crushing
Correct article usage
a crushing
show examples
 machine
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is ready for the next process. In the next stage, the
juice
Use synonyms
 is purified in a limestone filter to get pure
juice
Use synonyms
. Afterwards, the pure
juice
Use synonyms
 is put into
evaporator
Correct article usage
an evaporator
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, the container is heated all the time
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Use synonyms
juice
Correct article usage
the juice
show examples
 becomes syrup. At the same time, the syrup goes into
centrifuge
Correct article usage
a centrifuge
show examples
 where
seperate
Correct your spelling
the
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals
from
Verb problem
are separated from
show examples
syrup
Correct article usage
the syrup
show examples
.
Linking Words
Finally
Punctuation problem
Finally,
show examples
 the
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals dry and cool in a container and become
sugar
Use synonyms
, the final product.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes, juice with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 0 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • manufacturing process
  • cleaning
  • sanitation
  • quality control
  • crushing
  • extracted juice
  • boiling
  • concentrated syrup
  • crystallization
  • sugar crystals
  • separation
  • molasses
  • purity
  • quality
  • food processing
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