ln many parts of the world, children are given more freedom than in the post. ls this a positive or a negotive development?

#ln #parts #world #children #freedom #post #ls #negotive #development

Offspring nowadays can enjoy lots of flexibility and independence in certain aspects of their lives in many countries and cultures.

This

is almost a new trend as previously they were not able to enjoy

such

leniency. In my opinion,

this

new trend of providing

children

the privilege to think and

doing

Wrong verb form

show examples

stuff on their own is a positive development.

Although

there might be some negative aspects of being derailed from their track

due to

lack of proper guidelines, these can be resolved by endowing

freedom

at a certain stage when they will be able to distinguish between what is good and harmful.

Firstly

, rules, regulations and bounds compel a

child

to be confined to a small domain of knowledge and abilities. If a

child

is given enough

freedom

to explore their interest areas of knowledge and passions, they might be able to accomplish those

things

pretty easily and with utter satisfaction. Some

children

may like different sports activities, some may like to enjoy gaming, and

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

others may like to solve different types of puzzles. All of those activities are important for the development of their brain functions and the growth of their abilities. If any parents want their

child

to learn songs but the

child

wishes to do something different like gaming, they might not force their

child

to do

according to

their wish always.

This

might result in losing passion for

such

activities. Maybe the

child

is going to be a game developer in future. Maybe the

child

who loves playing cricket now, will play for the national team and win the World Cup one day. So, parents need to have some flexibility regarding these

things

Secondly

freedom

of thinking induces the growth of different cognitive abilities in

children

. In many countries, the curriculum is now designed in a way to reduce the stress over

children

and

also

provide them the leeway to think.

For instance

: in Japan, students attend a class where they can make different types of crafts folding papers. We all know that

this

type of crafting is called Origami. When

children

are given the

freedom

to make

things

according to

their wishes, they will be able to think differently and their

puzzle solving

Add a hyphen

puzzle-solving

show examples

skills will be augmented.

However

, sometimes giving complete

freedom

might result in losing the right track in life and wasting time on unworthy

things

. So, they might need some guidelines at some stages of life. But

this

does not mean that they should always be confined within four walls and do

things

according to

what their parents and teachers want. In conclusion, providing

children

Change preposition

with more

show examples

immunity than in the past will obviously produce some positive changes in society.

Submitted by arefinneloy1 on Sat Nov 25 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay generally demonstrates an ability to organize ideas logically, though there were some instances where ideas could be connected more clearly. Consider using a greater variety of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and transition phrases to ensure your points flow smoothly from one to the next.

task achievement

While you did address the task prompt, your response would benefit from a deeper exploration of both the positive and negative consequences of increased freedom for children. Adding a few more specific examples would strengthen your argument and illustrate your points more vividly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

447 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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ln many parts of the world, children are given more freedom than in the post. ls this a positive or a negotive development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some say you should always marry for love; others say that in an uncertain world it’s wiser to marry for money. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

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