ln many parts of the world, children are given more freedom than in the post. ls this a positive or a negotive development?

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Offspring nowadays can enjoy lots of flexibility and independence in certain aspects of their lives in many countries and cultures.
This
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is almost a new trend as previously they were not able to enjoy
such
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leniency. In my opinion,
this
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new trend of providing
children
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the privilege to think and
doing
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do
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stuff on their own is a positive development.
Although
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there might be some negative aspects of being derailed from their track
due to
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lack of proper guidelines, these can be resolved by endowing
freedom
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at a certain stage when they will be able to distinguish between what is good and harmful.
Firstly
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, rules, regulations and bounds compel a
child
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to be confined to a small domain of knowledge and abilities. If a
child
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is given enough
freedom
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to explore their interest areas of knowledge and passions, they might be able to accomplish those
things
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pretty easily and with utter satisfaction. Some
children
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may like different sports activities, some may like to enjoy gaming, and
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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others may like to solve different types of puzzles. All of those activities are important for the development of their brain functions and the growth of their abilities. If any parents want their
child
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to learn songs but the
child
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wishes to do something different like gaming, they might not force their
child
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to do
according to
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their wish always.
This
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might result in losing passion for
such
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activities. Maybe the
child
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is going to be a game developer in future. Maybe the
child
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who loves playing cricket now, will play for the national team and win the World Cup one day. So, parents need to have some flexibility regarding these
things
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.
Secondly
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,
freedom
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of thinking induces the growth of different cognitive abilities in
children
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. In many countries, the curriculum is now designed in a way to reduce the stress over
children
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and
also
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provide them the leeway to think.
For instance
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: in Japan, students attend a class where they can make different types of crafts folding papers. We all know that
this
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type of crafting is called Origami. When
children
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are given the
freedom
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to make
things
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according to
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their wishes, they will be able to think differently and their
puzzle solving
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puzzle-solving
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skills will be augmented.
However
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, sometimes giving complete
freedom
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might result in losing the right track in life and wasting time on unworthy
things
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. So, they might need some guidelines at some stages of life. But
this
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does not mean that they should always be confined within four walls and do
things
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according to
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what their parents and teachers want. In conclusion, providing
children
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more
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with more
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immunity than in the past will obviously produce some positive changes in society.
Submitted by arefinneloy1 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay generally demonstrates an ability to organize ideas logically, though there were some instances where ideas could be connected more clearly. Consider using a greater variety of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and transition phrases to ensure your points flow smoothly from one to the next.
task achievement
While you did address the task prompt, your response would benefit from a deeper exploration of both the positive and negative consequences of increased freedom for children. Adding a few more specific examples would strengthen your argument and illustrate your points more vividly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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