IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table illustrates the population in detail for
Austalia
Use the right word
Australia
show examples
 and Malaysia in two different years
1980
Punctuation problem
, 1980
show examples
 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 increase in
geanral
Correct your spelling
general
 for the number of
individules
Correct your spelling
individuals
 in both countries.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 the average yearly population
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
slightly
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 in Australia
while
Linking Words
Correct pronoun usage
it decrease
show examples
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 a bit in Malaysia. In 1980,
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 number of
Ausralian
Correct your spelling
Australian
people
Use synonyms
 increased from 14.7
untill
Check wording
million to
show examples
 19.6
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 by 2002,
additonaly
Correct your spelling
additionally
man
Punctuation problem
, man
show examples
 and women
range
Check wording
age
show examples
is
Verb problem
ranges are
show examples
 stable in both years
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
born
Verb problem
the birth
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
decrease
Replace the word
decreased
show examples
 from 1.5 to 1.3%.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 the citizen growth has
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 slightly from 1.2 to reach 1.3 in 2002,
while
Linking Words
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of older
people
Use synonyms
 aged above
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
65 years had
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 from 9.6 to 12.4%. In Malaysia, the population had
huge increasing
Verb problem
increased significantly
show examples
 from around 13
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 in 1980 to
achieved
Verb problem
reach
show examples
 24.3 M in 2002
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Also
Linking Words
ganders
Use the right word
gender ratio
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 was a
littel
Correct your spelling
little
 bit
grow up
Verb problem
higher, growing
show examples
 from 50.3 to 50.6%.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 birth
rate
Use synonyms
 was
redused
Correct your spelling
reduced
 from 3.2 to 2.2% which
impact
Wrong verb form
impacted
show examples
annual
Correct article usage
the annual
show examples
 growth of
people
Use synonyms
 to decrease from 2.4 to 2.1% in 2002,
while
Linking Words
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 aged over 65
rate
Use synonyms
jump
Replace the word
jumped
show examples
 from 3.7 to 4.3%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, rate with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • population
  • Australia
  • Malaysia
  • increase
  • million
  • growth
  • period
  • notable
  • compare
  • gap
  • economic
  • factors
  • developing
  • stable
  • birth rates
  • attracted
  • people
  • size
  • features
  • reporting
  • trend
  • data
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