IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that developing countries need financial help from international organizations. Others think that it is practical aid and advice that is needed. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.

Opinions diverge over whether developing countries need financial assistance or practical help and advice.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 financial
aid
Use synonyms
 is a reasonable solution, I believe that both financial support and advice are vital.
To begin
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 with, financial
aid
Use synonyms
 for each nation often comes with expectations from
donar
Correct your spelling
donor
 nations or organisations. Many organisations impose some conditions in return that may not benefit the developing country completely.
For example
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, they may demand access to finite resources and exploit them for their own advantage,
while
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such
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 resources should be preserved for future generations.
In addition
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, by transferring and depleting terrestrial resources, many diseases can appear on a long-term basis. So, authorities should take their people into consideration and be more cautious.
Next,
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each nation should equally have the opportunity to advance in the future, which is not possible by merely providing money. Every country has many skilled
professions
Replace the word
professionals
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 who can contribute to national prosperity, but they need access to tools and
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 guidance.
In other words
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, scientists can benefit from other countries' experiences , which accelerates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
progress considerably.
For instance
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, they can send their scientists for educational courses and share their findings with them.
Hence
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, relying solely on financial
aid
Use synonyms
 may
weakens
Wrong verb form
weaken
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 a country's potential elites and prospects to advance, and
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
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a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
dim future for current and next generations.
To conclude
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, if developing countries try to advance without both financial
aid
Use synonyms
 and practical support, their progress will be slower and limited.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a combination of money and expert advice is essential for long-term development.

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coherence and cohesion
While you present your points well, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use more linking words like 'firstly', 'additionally', and 'finally'.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your argument stronger and clearer. For instance, name specific organizations or countries.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion at the beginning and conclude effectively, summarizing your main points well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • developing countries
  • financial help
  • international organizations
  • practical aid
  • technical assistance
  • vocational training
  • sustainable development
  • dependency
  • misuse
  • corruption
  • empower communities
  • local skills
  • targeted solutions
  • flexibility
  • capacity-building
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