These days people prefer to watch live performances on TV or computer, online rather than go to the place of that event. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
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prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
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to watch
the
Correct article usage
apply
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live
events
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at
home
Use synonyms
on TV or online
instead
Linking Words
of going to the location of the event.
This
Linking Words
essay agrees with the view since staying
home
Use synonyms
is more
comfertable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
and
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
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less money.  On the
one
Use synonyms
hand, watching any performance on TV or
copmuter
Correct your spelling
computer
rather than going to its place can be
viable
Correct article usage
a viable
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alternative, as
one
Use synonyms
can create their own perfect
atmoshper
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
by choosing the appropriate sound settings and lights.
Also
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, they can enjoy watching it on comfy sofas rather than the
steady
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stiff
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seats, and in more
quiter
Correct your spelling
quieter
place with no noise from the other audience. Another great benefit
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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is that they can record the entire
preformance
Correct your spelling
performance
and stop it at any time.
For example
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, in Saudi Arabia, the number of people who attend outdoor
events
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in summer is much
more
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apply
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less than in winter
due to
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the high heat and the sunny weather.
On the other hand
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, watching the
events
Use synonyms
at
home
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is much cheaper since the only fees
one
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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to pay
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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the TV subscription fees
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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cost no more than 50$.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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in the live
performance
Add a comma
performance,
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a person needs to buy tickets that might be over
than
Change preposition
apply
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100$ for
one
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ticket,
then
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paying
Wrong verb form
pay
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for the
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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.
Moreover
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, the price of snacks at the live location is more expensive than
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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original price.
For instance
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, the price of the final match of the
last
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world cup
Fix capitalization
World Cup
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in Qatar reached about 2000$
in
Change preposition
on
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the black market. In conclusion, watching live
events
Use synonyms
at
home
Use synonyms
is better than attending the event at its live place, because the person can enjoy watching it at
home
Use synonyms
in the appropriate environment
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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well as saving a lot of money.

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language
Try to avoid spelling mistakes, such as 'comfertable' and 'copmuter'.
content
Make sure each point clearly supports your main argument. For example, explain how recording performances helps viewers.
coherence
Use more linking words to connect your ideas better, like 'furthermore' or 'in addition'.
coherence
Make sure to structure your paragraphs clearly with topic sentences.
content
You have good examples to support your ideas, like the Saudi Arabia event comparisons.
content
Your points about comfort and cost are relevant and meaningful.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • live performances
  • TV
  • computer
  • online
  • event
  • agree
  • disagree
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • cost-effectiveness
  • variety
  • options
  • comfort
  • interaction
  • engagement
  • social experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: