Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Developed
countries
Use synonyms
usuall
Correct your spelling
usually
donate funds to developing
state
Fix the agreement mistake
states
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
it does not solve the poverty issue.
As a result
Linking Words
, some people believe that richer
countries
Use synonyms
should provide other types of help to those poorer
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
rather than economic aid,
while
Linking Words
I personally agree with
this
Linking Words
perspective. There are several reasons why I support those more
wealty
Correct your spelling
wealthy
countries
Use synonyms
should offer other categories of help to
countries
Use synonyms
in need
aid
Change preposition
of aid
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
if developed
countries
Use synonyms
could teach residents in less moneyed nations some life skills, they would not be worried about their life
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
and survival
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the Taiwan government has sent dozens of talented experts to their diplomatic land to teach them how to nurture appropriate agricultural crops. Currently,
according to
Linking Words
the report,
this
Linking Words
scheme has achieved
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
goal.
In addition
Linking Words
, developed
tribe
Fix the agreement mistake
tribes
show examples
could
also
Linking Words
lend a hand to their
infrastructures
Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
show examples
. Take China as an example, the government decided to build the railway systems in impoverished
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
near China,
such
Linking Words
as Thailand and
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
East
citizenry
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, I do not deny that cutting off the financial or other types of help to other
countries
Use synonyms
from
wealthy
Correct article usage
the wealthy
show examples
public has its own merits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, continuing to provide a helping hand will definitely
appearas
Correct your spelling
appear as
abulky
Correct your spelling
a
blackhole hole, both in labour and money.
Being practically
Verb problem
Practically
show examples
, those richer people could not grant whatever the less-moneyed region
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, those needy
union
Fix the agreement mistake
unions
show examples
should find a brand-new survival idea for themselves.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they could live in their own way with their hands, not depending on others. In conclusion, I do agree that propertied
countries
Use synonyms
should lend their hand to necessitous nations in other ways, not always offering them money. The reason is that
this
Linking Words
has already been shown to work less than we thought.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement. You should clearly express your main opinion on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your points are presented in a logical order. Try to connect ideas with linking words to improve flow.
task achievement
Use simpler and clearer language. Some phrases are confusing and can be expressed more clearly.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, which support your views.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion well, which is a positive aspect of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: