IELTS 12 - Test 6 - At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, in some

countries

Use synonyms

, the number of young adults is more than the older ones,

although

Linking Words

it has some disadvantages in my view, its benefits outweigh its drawbacks .

This

Linking Words

assay will discuss

this

Linking Words

topic. On the positive side,

large

Correct article usage

a large

show examples

number of young

people

Use synonyms

means

Correct article usage

show examples

larg

Correct your spelling

large

workforce for the society. In

the

Correct article usage

show examples

country with

large

Correct article usage

a large

show examples

proportion of older

people

Use synonyms

, particularly in the industrial cities, the lack of labour is a big issue which leads to a lot of economic problems.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it is obvious that young

people

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, as the main engine of the country

Punctuation problem

show examples

play a vital role in the future achievements of the country.

For instance

Linking Words

, based on research that was taken at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the British Columbia University, the 85 percent owner of the patent

Check wording

owners

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are under 40 years old and 75 % of the successful and profitable businesses are managed by young

people

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. These two benefits can

outhweigh

Correct your spelling

outweigh

every drawback. On the other side, everything has its drawbacks

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue is no exception. A large proportion of young adults can be a demanding concern for the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

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government as much as it can be more beneficial for the government. The increasing rate of unemployment is the main concern, needs a lot of effort to address

this

Linking Words

issue in developing

countries

Use synonyms

This

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drawback can affect on social and economic aspects of young

people

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and

creat

Use the right word

create

show examples

a gap between poor and wealthy families. In

conclsion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

although

Linking Words

the larger number of young

people

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rather than old

people

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countries

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has some cons, it will be a great opportunity for

countries

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that can bring economic and technological growth.

Talebi.civil

Jul 13, 2025

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction is clear, but it could be more engaging. Try to add a hook to grab the reader's attention.

Task Response

Make sure to avoid spelling errors, such as 'assay', 'outhweigh', and 'conclussion'. These mistakes can distract the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your ideas are clearly separated into paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.

Task Response

Add more specific examples to support your points, especially when discussing disadvantages.

Task Achievement

You have identified both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a balanced view of the topic.

Task Achievement

Your use of a real example from a university makes your argument more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

population
advantage
disadvantage
energy
innovation
economy
workforce
productivity
adaptable
learn
culture
society
tourists
downside
unemployment
resources
education
housing
healthcare
government
budget
skills
migrate
opportunities
demographic
problem

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IELTS 12 - Test 6 - At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some business find that their new employees lack in basic interpersonal skills such as the lack of ability to work with colleagues as a team. What are the causes and suggest possible solutions? Also provide relevant examples from your experience.

: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher in urban areas than rural area. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

Many children nowadays find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the causes of this phenomenon? What are the possible solutions to this problem?