Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, ill patients are starting to change their option of visiting their health specialist to medication and care. Some argue that it is a positive change,
while
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others believe it leads to negative effects. I believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Hospitals are often high-priced priced so it is not available for everyone to seek doctors' help. The majority often struggle with financial issues and drop out mid-medical care progress. In cases like
this
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, alternative medicines are the ''saviour'' of the group of patients.
For example
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, a woman who was struggling with measles cured the disease with an ancient recipe that was used hundreds of years ago after quitting hospital care
due to
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financial shortage. Later on, she said in an interview that the alternative she used saved her life.
However
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, medicines and treatments are often not backed by scientific evidence. A number is usually an individual's recipe or ancient craft which is not proven effective or safe. An example of the negative impact of relying solely on substitute medicines is the case of Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple Inc. Jobs was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He
initially
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chose to rely on natural medicine and delayed conventional medical treatment. By the time he eventually sought medical intervention, it was too late.
To conclude
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, preferring replacement of hospitalisation is becoming popular among patients who are suffering from diseases.
Although
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there are positive effects to
this
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trend, I believe they are outweighed by the possible dangers to both the people and society.

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task achievement
Make sure to fully explain your ideas with more detail. Some points are good but could use examples and explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of your essay by clearly connecting your ideas and using linking words more often.
task achievement
You offered a personal belief about the topic, which is good and shows your opinion.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which makes your points stronger.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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