IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Young people are committing more crimes. Discuss the causes and solutions for this problem.

In recent years, the number of crimes committed by young people has been rising in many countries.
This
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 essay will discuss the main causes of
this
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problem
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 and suggest some effective solutions to overcome
this
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 issue. One of the key reasons behind
this
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problem
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 is a lack of proper guidance and care from their
parents
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. Nowadays,
parents
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 are busy with their valuable work or jobs. They
not
Verb problem
do not
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 have enough
time
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 to take care of their
children
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. Most of the
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time
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time,
show examples
 they spend their
time
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 outside the home.
As a result
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,
Children
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 may feel lonely and ignored and turn to bad company or illegal activities. To address
this
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problem
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,
parents
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 should pay full attention towards their
children
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. They have to spend most of their
time
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 with their
children
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.
For example
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, by playing, singing, or telling interesting stories to
children
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,
parents
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 can help keep their minds healthy. Another reason is poverty and unemployment. When young people don't have access to better education or job opportunities, they may choose crime as a way of earning. To overcome
this
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problem
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, the government should invest more in the education sector and help to create more job training programs for the young population. Public awareness is needed to overcome
this
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problem
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.
For instance
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, some American cities have launched midnight basketball leagues in high-crime areas, the
time
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 when most crimes happen.
This
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 can help to reduce crime among thecrime among young generations. In conclusion, youth crime is caused by
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of proper care, poverty and unemployment. By building strong relationships with families, improving educational facilities, and increasing public awareness,
this
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problem
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 can be reduced. It is important for both families and the government to work together to protect the young generation from these harmful activities.

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coherence
Improve the connection between ideas to create a smoother flow in your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more detailed examples or explanations.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points.
content
You identified important causes and solutions related to youth crime.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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