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Writing Samples
Band 6

Sompe poeple believe that bicycles are the best mode of transport in the cities, while others disgaree. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
There is no denying the fact that a bicycle is a helpful mode of transport in the city.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that bicycles are the best mode of transport in cities, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that unhelpful, especially with the long trips. I will explain my view by adding some transportation examples to make that clear for the others, that who disagree with my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, the hour.
In other words
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, time management is crucial, so when you want to arrive on time at your job or any place, you really need to be faster than others.
In addition
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, the trains are speedy and beneficial, which helps people save an hour.
For example
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, I took the train three times per day, it is vital for me to be in school early,so I go to the station at seven o'clock and I pay a fee for that , which is considered cheap opposite the service.
Body paragraph 2
Another point to consider is the weather. It is
also
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 possible to say that when the weather is hot or rainy, it will be hard to use transportation like a bicycle.
Moreover
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, the effort is significant every day per week when you really need to conserve your force to do your job tasks.
For instance
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, my friend spends four hours every day on the bicycle , even though he arrives, which makes him feel tired and has less energy to do the tasks;
moreover
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, he loses his focus.
Conclusion
In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that there are many options better than
this
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option
Check wording
one
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, because time and effort are crucial for me. I disagree with
this
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 opinion, and I prefer the train. As I said before, the weather and power are two of the main reasons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 avoiding people of use bicycles.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly present your opinion in the introduction. It’s important for the reader to see your main view right away.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader. This helps with the overall structure of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more examples or details to support your points. This strengthens your argument and makes your ideas more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more clearly. For example, use connecting words like 'firstly', 'secondly' or 'in addition' to help with the flow of your writing.
content
You have clearly stated your opinion in the conclusion, which is important.
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