IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is difficult for employees to tackle the employment problem connected with
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction and leaving the
filed
Use the right word
field
show examples
 when they
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
dismotivation
Correct your spelling
demotivated
. From my point of view,
people
Use synonyms
 should try themselves in different companies and jobs because in
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 world we all have opportunities to learn something new and make a living through
that
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 which is suitable for us. Nowadays, in
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
market
Add a comma
market,
show examples
 there are many new
job
Use synonyms
 vacancies which introduced in
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
show examples
 decade through technical advancements and improved technologies which assist
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to deal
Change preposition
in dealing
show examples
 with different challenging tasks in their
work
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 it is beneficial and time-saving, more
people
Use synonyms
 cannot
work
Use synonyms
 where they cannot get in touch with
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 staff or adapt
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 environment.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 can change their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 in
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 process and still
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 for
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
 because they don't have a choice
they
Punctuation problem
; they
show examples
 should earn money to simply survive in life.
Additionally
Linking Words
, more workload has been done by
Ai
Use the right word
AI
show examples
 and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
lead
Wrong verb form
has led
show examples
 to a depletion in
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
 market.
However
Linking Words
, it only connected with
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 personality
they
Punctuation problem
; they
show examples
 just want to be in
comfort
Correct pronoun usage
their comfort
show examples
 zone.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, more
people
Use synonyms
 are careless about salary when it comes to their comfort and communication with colleagues. In fact, they
don't
Verb problem
aren't
show examples
 afraid to take a risk and
quits
Correct subject-verb agreement
quit
show examples
 their
job
Use synonyms
 in order to find
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
work
Use synonyms
. It takes
sometime
Use the right word
some time
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 in
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
job
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it is
save
Wrong verb form
saves
show examples
 not only your potential
Linking Words
as well as
Rephrase
but also
show examples
 your nerves.
Use synonyms
Job
Correct article usage
A job
show examples
 is not only about
money
Punctuation problem
money,
show examples
 is more about your promotion
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
promoted
Verb problem
is promoted
show examples
 by yourself and your enthusiasm

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summarize it in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphs and connect your ideas with linking words to improve flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points and strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You express a relevant opinion about job satisfaction and employment.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
What to do next:
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