IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In our world,
people
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 these days use social
media
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 for many things , JUST like to keep in touch , to gather not only that , but
also
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 to be aware of global
news
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. Some
people
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 think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
This
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 essay agrees with that view. First of all, using social
media
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 has numerous benefits . to explain that
,
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apply
show examples
people
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 from all over the world can keep in touch with their loved ones,
such
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 as family or friends .
For example
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, my brother is studying in the UK, yet he can talk to us(my parents and me) every single day with
Snapchat
Correct article usage
a Snapchat
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 video.
In addition
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 to that , social
media
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 helped individuals to be aware of the
news
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. To illustrate that, if
people
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 use Instagram or Twitter or even TikTok, they might find any
news
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 they want,
such
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 as sports
news
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 or political
news
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, easily and quickly.
For instance
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,
last
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 week
i
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I
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 searched for economic
news
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 since
i
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I
show examples
 wanted to buy some shares in the Kuwait stock exchange .
On the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks to using social
media
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 . As an explanation, some studies and research proved that
,
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apply
show examples
using social
media
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 by kids or young
people
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 for
alot
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a
 of time can cause some problems . As an explanation, a lack of focus or less making of relationships in real life . In conclusion, I really recognise that the pros of social
media
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 outweigh the cons
due to
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 the reasons I mentioned in the essay .

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Task Achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion about the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Provide more examples to support your points, especially for the drawbacks of social media.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'.
Relevant Specific Examples
You provided good examples of social media usage.
Clear Response
You clearly stated your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant communication
  • Geographical separation
  • Vital sources
  • Global events
  • Networking opportunities
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Digital interactions
  • Misinformation
  • Misiformed public opinions
  • Endanger
  • Excessive use
  • Addiction
  • Mental health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Loneliness
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