Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

It can be argued that arts-related

subjects

Use synonyms

are as important as other school

subjects

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay completely disagrees with

this

Linking Words

statement because these

subjects

Use synonyms

can negatively affect students' academic performance.

For example

Linking Words

, there is a study at KSU that has shown that students who have received music classes in primary school are lagging behind their peers in most scientific

subjects

Use synonyms

. Create a high-end black and white portrait using my selfie. The face must remain exactly as in

Change preposition

apply

show examples

my original selfie

Punctuation problem

, no

show examples

editing, no retouching, no smoothing. I'm

.wearing

Correct your spelling

wearing

the business suits

Preserve

Punctuation problem

. Preserve

show examples

every facial detail and texture for a raw, authentic look. The lighting should be dramatic and studio-quality, using strong contrast and shadows to sculpt the features. Use a clean, blurred studio-style background with soft gradients or subtle texture to enhance focus on the subject. Frame the portrait vertically (9:16 format),

centered

Use the right word

centred

show examples

composition, with ultra-realistic skin texture and depth. No digital makeup or alterations. The final result should look timeless, editorial, and emotionally powerful

Punctuation problem

show examples

suitable for a gallery or fashion

fa1052954

Jul 15, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your argument needs to be clearer and more balanced. You should consider discussing both sides of the topic to strengthen your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay needs a clearer structure. Use separate paragraphs for different ideas and make sure each one flows to the next.

task achievement

Add more examples or explanations to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to have a clear conclusion that sums up your main points and restates your opinion.

task achievement

You started with a clear opinion, which is good for your essay's purpose.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

172 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
fostering
emotional intelligence
problem-solving skills
cultural awareness
curriculum
engaging
memorable
nurture
talents
core subjects
academic
professional success

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet. What potential problems may this trend lead to? What solutions can you suggest to deal with it?
The rapid advancement of technologies that inevitably lead to unsupervised underage to access the internet, especially social media. There are several problems that might occur such as children accessing false information and adult content freely. Therefore, the solutions should come from both parents and the providers to restrict several contents for children.
6.5
band
A friend has invited you to a party but you will not be able to attend. Write to your friend. In your letter •Tell your friend you can’t come •Explain why you are unable to attend •Arrange another time to meet
I am writing this letter to apologise for not being able to attend your party this weekend and I hope to meet you again at the end of summer around 25th July.
6
band
roads will be safer if cyclist pass exsam each year. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
In all monopolies, roads will be more secure if vehicle users pass the driving tests each year. Although it will be supportable, it is more effective if there are special areas for vehicle drivers.
8.5
band
computers are used more and more in education. some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.
There is an ever-increasing use of hi-tech, such as tablets and laptops, in the classroom. It is often argued that this is a positive development, whilst others disagree and think it will lead to adverse ramifications. This essay agrees that an increase in technological facilities is beneficial for students and teachers. This essay will discuss both points of view.
6
band
Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for many reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and conclude.
Various circumstances exist that would compel parents to send their children to boarding school. Be that as it may, parents, psychologists, and policymakers often debate whether the nature of boarding schools presents positive or negative outcomes. This essay will explore arguments for both sides and provide detailed analysis to aid readers in arriving at their own conclusion.

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet. What potential problems may this trend lead to? What solutions can you suggest to deal with it?

A friend has invited you to a party but you will not be able to attend. Write to your friend. In your letter •Tell your friend you can’t come •Explain why you are unable to attend •Arrange another time to meet

roads will be safer if cyclist pass exsam each year. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

computers are used more and more in education. some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for many reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and conclude.