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Writing Samples
Band 7

hanges in crime rates in an inner city over a 9-year period (from 2003 to 2012). The line graph shows the number of incidents for three types of crime: Burglary (breaking into buildings to steal things) Car theft (stealing cars) Robbery (stealing from people directly, often involving threats or violence)

hanges in crime rates in an inner city over a 9-year period (from 2003 to 2012). The line graph shows the number of incidents for three types of crime: Burglary (breaking into buildings to steal things) Car theft (stealing cars) Robbery (stealing from people directly, often involving threats or violence)
The given line graph illustrates how much
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rates changed in the inner city over a
period
Use synonyms
 of 9 years between 2003 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can clearly be seen that the
crime
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 with the highest level of
incidents
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 at the start dropped significantly,
whereas
Linking Words
 the other two crimes fluctuated throughout the given
period
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of burglary
incidents
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 was the highest at the start, it had been overtaken by car theft by the end of the
period
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. In terms of the
crime
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 with the highest level of
incidents
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 at the start, the
number
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 of burglary
incidents
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 was just below 3500 in 2003. The
number
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then
Linking Words
 experienced a moderate increase and reached a peak of approximately 3750 in 2004 before dropping dramatically and hitting a trough at approximately 1100 in 2008. From
this
Linking Words
 point onwards, it fluctuated in the following 4 years before standing at around 1200 in the final year . Regarding the other two less common types of
crime
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in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 the beginning , the
incidents
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 caused by car theft and robbery started at just below 3000 and just above 500
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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. The rate of car theft remained steady over
Correct article usage
a 2-years
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2-years
Correct your spelling
2-year
period
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.
Although
Linking Words
 a moderate drop was witnessed in 2006 to around 2000,
It
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it
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then
Linking Words
 rose significantly with small fluctuations to around its original level in 2012,
thus
Linking Words
 surpassing burglary.
Similarly
Linking Words
, throughout the
9-years
Replace the word
9-year
show examples
period
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 , the
number
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 of robbery
incidents
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 fluctuated very slightly between 1000 and 500, ending at roughly its initial figure .

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, period, incidents, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderate" was used 2 times.
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