IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People have a lot of opinions about the value of advanced education. Which do you think is the most important reason to attend college or university? Use reasons and examples to support your answer

Nowadays, Many people believe that receiving a high-quality education in school or University is essential for many reasons. In my opinion, the most important reason is to improve one’s job opportunities and build a stable and rewarding career. First of all, obtaining a high-quality education helps produce smart and creative students who will become independent and able to secure a better life in the future.
In addition
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, it focuses on developing intelligent students who can help the country to grow and adapt. A study published by New York University in 2016 concluded that 90% of graduates from advanced schools and universities possess strong knowledge and critical thinking skills.
As a result
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, contributing to national development is important, and many people seek to take the opportunity to do so.
According to
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 others' opinions, life today is difficult because it is expensive, especially in areas like housing, food, and healthcare.
For example
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, the generation now is smarter than the one before, and future generations are likely to be even more advanced.
Therefore
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, individuals should continuously seek a career at a reputable institution in order to ensure a good and healthy life. In conclusion,
while
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 there are many reasons, the two most important are ensuring mental and emotional development and providing access to high-level careers, to produce mentally healthy citizens, and to ensure access to promising careers and leadership positions.

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coherence and cohesion
Make your main ideas clearer and more direct. Each paragraph should focus tightly on one main point.
task achievement
Add specific examples that relate directly to your main points. This will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and you stay on topic throughout your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction outlines the main idea of your essay well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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