IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart shows data about average weekly sales of two coffee shops in the New York in 2015.

The chart shows data about average weekly sales of two coffee shops in the New York in 2015.
The assigned bar graph depicts the mean
sales
Use synonyms
 of New
York
Use synonyms
's 2
coffee
Use synonyms
 shops in 2015 per week.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is manifested that equal amounts of
espresso
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 sold in
Club
Use synonyms
Coffee
Use synonyms
 and
Espresso
Use synonyms
 Express.
Also
Linking Words
, the
sellings
Check wording
sales
show examples
 of cafe lattes
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 relatively higher in both restaurants. As per the chart, weekly
sales
Use synonyms
 of americano were recorded to be hundred in
Club
Use synonyms
Coffee
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in
Espresso
Use synonyms
 Express, 75 cups of americano were sold. In
Club
Use synonyms
Coffee
Use synonyms
, the count of cappuccinos bought by the residents of New
York
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 twice
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the number of
this
Linking Words
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Espresso
Use synonyms
 Express. On average, the
sales
Use synonyms
 of decaf
coffee
Use synonyms
 and 'flat white' were
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in the latter cafe in the most popular city of America in 2015. Probing
further
Linking Words
, one of the least preferred
Use synonyms
coffee
Fix the agreement mistake
coffees
show examples
 was
espresso
Use synonyms
 in both
coffee
Use synonyms
 shops in New
York
Use synonyms
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 only 25 units were sold. 20 caramel lattes were demanded by
coffee
Use synonyms
 lovers in
Club
Use synonyms
Coffee
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was
one third
Use the right word
one-third
show examples
 of the
sales
Use synonyms
 of caramelised latte in
Espresso
Use synonyms
 Express in
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
2015
Punctuation problem
2015,
show examples
 in a week. The mean
sales
Use synonyms
 accounted for iced
coffee
Use synonyms
 were 70 and 50, respectively
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 cafes of New
York
Use synonyms
 in 2015. On
weekly
Correct article usage
a weekly
show examples
 basis, 135 cups of
cafe
Use the right word
café
show examples
 latte were sold in
Club
Use synonyms
Coffee
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was closely followed by the number of
this
Linking Words
coffee
Use synonyms
 type sold in
Espresso
Use synonyms
 Express of New
York
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, york, coffee, espresso, club with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "express" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: