IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some cities public parks and open space are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
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 the trend of converting open and
citizen served
Use the right word
citizen-served
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 areas
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 being compromised for planting fruits and vegetables to be served
for
Change preposition
to
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 nearby residents. Behind
this
Linking Words
act
Add a comma
act,
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 it causes drawbacks compared to benefits
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 are articulated in the upcoming paragraphs. The most prominent disadvantage
behind
Change preposition
of
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this
Linking Words
 change will be
on
Change preposition
for
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 children, as they have to
comprise
Verb problem
share
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 their play area.
Additionally
Linking Words
 same effect gets reflected on senior citizens
Punctuation problem
; thier
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
 nearby
physcial
Correct your spelling
physical
 activity might be converted to
long distance
Use the right word
long-distance
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 ones.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the consequences
behind
Change preposition
of
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 those
plantation
Fix the agreement mistake
plantations
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will snatch the income source of local
vendor
Fix the agreement mistake
vendors
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 and
small scale
Use the right word
small-scale
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markets
Punctuation problem
markets,
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those
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 are highly dependent on
those
Correct determiner usage
the
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 community.
For instance
Linking Words
, generally it has been explicitly observed that nowadays,
corrianders
Correct your spelling
coriander
 and green chillies are grown
into
Change preposition
in
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kitchen
Correct article usage
the kitchen
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 garden where the market errands
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
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 low in our busy schedules.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it requires
the
Correct article usage
a
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 high level of
maintainence
Correct your spelling
maintenance
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 includes soil porosity, nutrition provision and keeping hydrated
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is more tedious to complete and seems to be challenging working
onto
Change preposition
in
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fields
Correct article usage
the fields
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.
On
Change preposition
In
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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contrast
of
Change preposition
to
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above
Correct article usage
the above
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 disadvantages, nearby grown fruits and vegetables might be more
nutritive
Use the right word
nutritious
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, nurtured organically.
Also
Linking Words
, one can pluck it whenever there is a requirement as
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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regenerative
Use the right word
regenerates
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 on
the
Correct article usage
a
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 regular basis.
Furthurmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, it is helpful for the individuals who would like to study regarding planting and
agricutural
Correct your spelling
agricultural
practises
Use the right word
practices
show examples
, for their future.
To conclude
Linking Words
, organically
grewed
Correct your spelling
grown
 plants are far better than the rotten fruits and vegetables.
However
Linking Words
,
an
Use the right word
in
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account
Check wording
order
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of imposing
Change preposition
to impose
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 one benefit, it is not good that others should face several drawbacks which necessary for regular life. So, it can be said that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 here disadvantages are
outweighing
Wrong verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the advantages.

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Task Achievement
Make the introduction clearer and state your main ideas more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clearer transitions between your paragraphs and ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the grammar and spelling to make your writing easier to read.
Content
Some good ideas about the benefits of growing your own food.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban gardening
  • organic produce
  • dietary habits
  • environmental impact
  • biodiversity
  • urban heat island effect
  • community engagement
  • sustainable farming
  • nutrition education
  • food security
  • economic savings
  • food deserts
  • social interaction
  • local produce
  • public parks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: