IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

no longer necessary, because children can get so much information available through Internet, and they can study just as well at home. What extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
Linking Words
 modern era , it's believed that schools are not paramount currently
due to
Linking Words
 the prevalence of data
among
Change preposition
on
show examples
 education websites on the internet . In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain why
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 perspective.
To begin
Linking Words
 with ,
although
Linking Words
 being able to acquire knowledge and information from your home , children may become addicted to video games or social media applications. Resulting in chronic disease
such
Linking Words
 as cardiovascular problems , long-term health issues and obesity .
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 play an essential role in student life because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 outdoor activities and group chat , which will enhance pupils' communication skills , physical abilities and time management .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , only teachers can
instead
Linking Words
 of computer can answer students' thoughts and give them suggestions to assist them in choosing the correct career .
In addition
Linking Words
 , the school environment is totally different
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 it helps you to deal with challenges that you may face outside school and how to respect others .
Thus
Linking Words
 , all these factors will boost your confidence and foster your behaviour . A recent study indicates that 60% of students acquire new skills during
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 stage
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
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 you will explore your talent and improve it in the future .
To sum up
Linking Words
 , even if the internet enables people to obtain knowledge, schools still play a crucial role in our community and provide students with social experiences and mentors to guide
.
Correct pronoun usage
them.
show examples

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly express your main points and provide clear arguments to support them.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and make the essay flow better.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the topic and express it well in your introduction.
coherence and cohesion
You include important points about the role of schools and social development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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