IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given
graph
Use synonyms
 illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of closed and opened
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 from 2011 to 2018 in one country.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are two noticeable points in the
graph
Use synonyms
. The
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
number
Use synonyms
 in the
graph
Use synonyms
 belonged to the opening
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2011, and
Correct article usage
the closures
show examples
closures
Fix the agreement mistake
closure
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
 were placed as the lowest in 2015. As presented in the
graph
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of opening
shops
Use synonyms
 started at 8,500, which was the highest. The
number
Use synonyms
 plummed to just under 4,000 in 2012, and slightly rose to just over 6,000 in 2014.
Then
Linking Words
, in 2015, the
number
Use synonyms
 went down to 4,000, and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 stable until 2016. The
graph
Use synonyms
wissnessed
Correct your spelling
witnessed
 a
little
Correct word choice
slight
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in 2017, and it
ened
Correct your spelling
ended
 at 3,000
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2018. For the
shops
Use synonyms
 closed, the figure began at approximately 6,400
shops
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 it fluctuated for three years before significantly
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 to less than 1,000 in 2015, which was the lowest in the
graph
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 2016, the
number
Use synonyms
 was five times more than
last
Linking Words
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it remained constant.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, number, shops with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: