IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018 . Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant .

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018 . Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant .
The line graph illustrates the number of new
shops
Use synonyms
 and the number of
shops
Use synonyms
 that closed in a country from the
year
Use synonyms
 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were some fluctuations observed during the given period.
However
Linking Words
,
ratio
Correct article usage
the ratio
show examples
 of the closing and opening stores both
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a downward trend in 2018 compared to 2011. Noticeably, there was a major drop observed in new stores during the
year
Use synonyms
2012
Punctuation problem
2012,
show examples
 by 4500 from the
year
Use synonyms
 2011. Surprisingly, the lowest number of
shops
Use synonyms
 shut their doors in 2015.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
report
Correct article usage
the report
show examples
 shows more
shops
Use synonyms
slightly
Punctuation problem
, slightly
show examples
 more than 8000
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 the
year
Use synonyms
 2014 compared to 2012.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the openings decreased after that in
2015
Punctuation problem
2015,
show examples
 about 4000
shops
Use synonyms
 and remained the same till 2017.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, before a major drop in 2015 by less than 1000 for closing
Use synonyms
shops
Punctuation problem
shops,
show examples
 there were many ups and downs observed from 2011 to 2014
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
rose after that in
2016
Punctuation problem
2016,
show examples
 just over 5000 and plateaued.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
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