IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holidays in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

It is irrefutable that choosing
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
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 destination is of paramount importance for enjoying it to
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
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. Some people
states
Correct subject-verb agreement
state
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 that more folks will prefer to stay in their native
country
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
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 holidays rather than travel
foreign
Change preposition
to foreign
show examples
 countries. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 trend. I will explain both viewpoints with relevant examples in the following paragraphs. To commence with, there are several factors that can be considered
while
Linking Words
 choosing your own
country
Use synonyms
 as a tourist
place
Check wording
destination
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, individuals can get more information about
cultures
Correct article usage
the cultures
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 and traditions
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their nation, which
automatically
Verb problem
is automatically
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 helpful in improving general knowledge.
Additionally
Linking Words
, visiting own place for vacation can help to
surge
Verb problem
boost
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economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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 of
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
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visiting tourist places of own
country
Use synonyms
foster
Replace the word
fosters
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 tourism. Apart from that, holiday planning in
native
Correct article usage
the native
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country
Use synonyms
 is cheaper than roaming
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 for travel.
For example
Linking Words
, human beings can enjoy more with their families by spending quality time and worrying less about expenses and air tickets.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, travelling abroad is
also
Linking Words
 beneficial for mankind. When they visit other nations
for
Change preposition
on
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trip
Correct article usage
a trip
show examples
, they can get a chance to meet people of other cultures.
Linking Words
Hence
Punctuation problem
Hence,
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 it is fruitful to learn about their modern cultures.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by exploring foreign countries, one can get
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
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 to improve their study and business. To illustrate, it is recorded that people are more interested towards study abroad and shaping their future in
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 way by getting more ideas and options.
To sum up
Linking Words
, enjoying holidays in
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 or their native
, both
Check wording
country, both
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 have their own merits.
However
Linking Words
, it depends on the person's choice and capabilities

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task achievement
Make sure to develop each point more fully with examples and explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs to guide the reader clearly through your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and sentence structures to enhance clarity and make your essay more readable.
task achievement
You've made a good effort to discuss both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant to the points made.
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