IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out while others say that we should concentrate more on problems human beings Discuss both sides and give

As it is enunciated by proportion, people and authorities should take action against the destruction of
animals
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in
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on
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 the earth. But others have questioned whether people should focus on real-life problems faced by individuals. Contemporary liberal society has profoundly placed a high premium on protecting
animals
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 and the environment. It is not a heresy to assume that taking action against the annihilation of
animals
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 is deeply rootedly in ecological balance in the universe. No doubt to say
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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animals
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 play a critical role in regulating the natural system
in
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, sometimes
animals
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 act as pollinators, and they do significant work in food security. Without these
animals
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, we cannot survive in
the
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apply
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nature. There are infallible testimonies to prove that protecting extinct
animals
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 innately promotes strengthening food security, establishing ecological balance, controlling weather patterns and helping soil fertilisation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the extinction of
animals
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 is an egregious threat to human activities. No doubt to say, industrialisation, rampant consumerism and materialism, Uberization, deforestation, increased fossil fuel consumption and the use of the monocultural farming pattern are the major enticements behind
this
Linking Words
 soaring concern.
Also
Linking Words
, these activities notoriously affect global warming, raise the sea level,
atmospheric
Verb problem
cause atmospheric
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 pollution, and change the weather patterns. These are the profound causes of animal annihilation
in
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
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.
Then
Linking Words
 we should concentrate more on our real-life activities,
then
Linking Words
 we can easily
secure
Verb problem
be protected
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 from
animals
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.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction should clearly outline the main points you will discuss. Ensure each point is easy to identify.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph only focuses on one main idea to help clarity. Use linking words to show how the paragraphs connect.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples or real-life situations to support your arguments. This will help make your points clearer.
Task Achievement
You have identified both sides of the argument and provided some reasoning for each.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • cascading effects
  • economic impacts
  • ecosystem
  • endangered species
  • environmental conservation
  • human welfare
  • moral duty
  • preserve
  • sustainable practices
  • habitats
  • interconnected
  • extinction
  • advocates
  • opponents
  • priority
What to do next:
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