IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

The
two
Use synonyms
 maps depict the layout of Grange Park in
two
Use synonyms
 different periods-one in 1920 and the other at present. As an overview of the plans, it is evident that several significant modifications, including the addition of modern facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as
café
Correct article usage
a café
show examples
, children’s play area, and amphitheatre,
reflecting
Wrong verb form
reflect
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 the transformation of citizens’ lifestyle towards a more leisurely and entertainment-oriented direction. Looking at the first map in detail, it is worth noting that the park’s layout was anchored by a fountain, with seats scattered around the periphery. You can enter the park through
two
Use synonyms
 entrances, which one is located in the north, on the Arnold Avenue, and the other situated in the Eldon Street, to the south. The north entrance was between
two
Use synonyms
 rose gardens
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 there was a pond for water plants beside it on the east
side
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
While the
Change preposition
The
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 south entrance was located between another rose garden and a glasshouse.
Besides
Linking Words
, a stage for musicians was on the west
side
Use synonyms
 of the
center
Use the right word
centre
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. Turning to the second illustration, it is noticed that the park’s
center
Use the right word
centre
show examples
 has been replaced by a huge rose garden. The garden on the west
side
Use synonyms
 of the north entrance has been preserved
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, the east
side
Use synonyms
 has been transformed
in to
Use the right word
into
show examples
 a café, and the original pond has been changed into a children’s play area. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of
glasshouse
Correct article usage
the glasshouse
show examples
, it has been developed into a water feature.
Moreover
Linking Words
, where once there was a stage, now stands a magnificent amphitheatre for concerts.

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task achievement
Try to improve your introduction by summarizing the changes more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs are logically connected to each other to improve flow.
coherence and cohesion
Add a concluding sentence to summarize the overall changes in the park.
task achievement
You provided a clear overview of the changes in the park.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples helped to illustrate the differences between the two maps.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recreational facilities
  • landscaping
  • naturalistic
  • amenities
  • formal gardens
  • ergonomic
  • symmetric designs
  • inclusive
  • accessible
  • accommodations
  • native plant species
  • societal changes
  • visitor services
  • community events
  • evolution
  • modern playgrounds
  • wildflower meadows
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