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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the amount of waste production (in millions of tonnes) in six different countries over a twenty-year period.(

The table below shows the amount of waste production (in millions of tonnes) in six different countries over a twenty-year period.(
The diagram illustrates information about the change in the
number
Check wording
amount
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 of
waste
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
production
Replace the word
produced
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 in six regions from 1980 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the US was the most remarkable figure in the whole period,
while
Linking Words
 Ireland
stayed at
Verb problem
had
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 the lowest
waste
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
. Only Korea undergoes a descending trend
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 others have a common increasing trend . The US was on top in
table
Correct article usage
the table
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 with 131
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 1980
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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then
Linking Words
 it stayed at 151
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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tonnes
Use synonyms
 and reached 192
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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tonnes
Use synonyms
 after 10 years. The
waste
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production
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 of Japan stayed at 28
million
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tonnes
Use synonyms
 , after 20 years it nearly doubled
with
Change preposition
to
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 53
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, after
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after
Correct word choice
and
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 it increased
at
Change preposition
to
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 32
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 1990. 4
million
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tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 released in 1980 , and
then
Linking Words
 it increased
at
Change preposition
by
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 6.6 in 2000. Korea reached a low of
waste
Use synonyms
 pollution with no
waste
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 pollution released with 0
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
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 it dramatical jumped with 31
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 during 10 years and
then
Linking Words
 it hit
trough
Correct article usage
a trough
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 at 19
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words waste, production, million, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 3 times.
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