IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that technology is making people more socially isolated, while others think it is helping people connect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

With the development of technology,
while
Linking Words
 many individuals think that social media can be useful for bonding
people
Use synonyms
, it is the cause of social isolation
,
Punctuation problem
.
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in
Fix capitalization
In
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this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion later. On the one hand, social media can consist of diverse social platforms and applications for texting;
therefore
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, it is convenient for
people
Use synonyms
 to link up with family and close friends in some special cases, like an emergency or in a faraway place.
Moreover
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, many tools like email, chatting, and video calls help exchange information and ideas quickly and effectively
,
Punctuation problem
.
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Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
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 example, some direct applications, including Room or Google Meet, are helpful for more convenient meetings with foreign and domestic companions.
On the other hand
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, depending on the smartphone and the internet, which may reduce social interaction and make
people
Use synonyms
 lonelier, bored, and have some mental health problems,
such
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 as depression and social anxiety.
Furthermore
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, the social applications
also
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 contained false information;
consequently
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,
this
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 can cause conflict and lead to a loss of trust between
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, during the COVID-19 epidemic, false information about the number of patients can cause embarrassment and worry for citizens,
while
Linking Words
 unity and consensus are necessary. In conclusion, social media can make
people
Use synonyms
 lonelier, but if we can deal with these drawbacks, their benefits can outweigh
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has clear main ideas that relate directly to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to connect your ideas more clearly, like 'first,' 'next,' and 'finally.'
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, making sure they are directly related to the topic.
task achievement
Clarify your opinion in the introduction and conclusion for a stronger response.
task achievement
Avoid vague statements and focus on clear and direct arguments.
task achievement
You have a clear introduction that outlines your essay's focus.
task achievement
You discuss both views on the topic, which shows that you understand the question well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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