IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps show two different plans designed for a conference room. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps show two different plans designed for a conference room. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The following map illustrates the differences between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
design
Use synonyms
 plans for a conference
room
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
plan
Use synonyms
 A will be involved in a
room
Use synonyms
 with fewer
seats
Use synonyms
 than
plan
Use synonyms
 B.
Besides
Linking Words
, the positions of the
room
Use synonyms
's morning tea, whiteboard and president’s seat are quite different in each
plan
Use synonyms
. Considering the arrangement of tables in those plans, despite both having three conference tables, the distances between them seem to differ in each
design
Use synonyms
 approach due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 number of chairs.
Use synonyms
Room
Correct article usage
The room
show examples
design
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
plan
Fix capitalization
Plan
show examples
 A only has 10
seats
Use synonyms
 in total, which means that the table distances may be
closer
Punctuation problem
closer,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 18
seats
Use synonyms
 can be counted in
Plan
Use synonyms
 B’s
design
Use synonyms
, making those even
further
Linking Words
. Another factor which can be said is that the conference's president will have different
seats
Use synonyms
 in each
plan
Use synonyms
. In
plan
Use synonyms
 A, he or she will stand on a podium with a discussion whiteboard beside. In
plan
Use synonyms
 B, the president will have a single table right at the
room
Use synonyms
’s centre
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the whiteboard is behind.
Finally
Linking Words
, the morning tea, in
plan
Use synonyms
 A, is located
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
Use synonyms
room
Correct article usage
the room
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 in
plan
Use synonyms
 B, it is put at the left corner.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words design, room, plan, seats with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rectangular
  • intimate
  • focused setting
  • versatile
  • collaborative work
  • whiteboard
  • projector
  • amenities
  • refreshment area
  • storage cabinets
  • breakout areas
  • dividers
  • group discussions
  • interactive sessions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: