Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can be better for their overall skills development and creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree?

In the
modernized
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modernised
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era, improving personal skills is a debated topic. Some people agree that participating in an entertainment activity with a kid is crucial to developing useful skills and
more creativity
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creativity more
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than reading. In my opinion, I partly agree with
this
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view. These reasons will be discussed in the following paragraph. On the one hand, what are the benefits
when
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apply
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you
play
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playing
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with the kids?
Firstly
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, it has to stimulate their intelligence and remember
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such
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, such
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as
:
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apply
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through
the
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apply
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puzzle games or a decoding game. It can improve their critical thinking abilities.
Moreover
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, playing with children is asking people to be more patient in understanding the children’s emotions to fully connect with them.
Therefore
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, interacting with children can improve our patience in many areas of life and our emotional intelligence at the same time.
For example
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, nowadays, there are many board games and online games to interact with the family together and strengthen
the
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apply
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family
bones
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bonds
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.
However
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, we can not deny the benefits when parents play with their kids, but there are still many advantages when kids are left
reading
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to read
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books. Reading books can help people to widen their knowledge
which
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, which
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can
apply
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be applied
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to real life.
For instance
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, there was a survey conducted by the FPT universities to show that 60% of students prefer reading at home, believing that
this
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is more beneficial than participating in outdoor activities with others, especially with their siblings.
Furthermore
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, in today’s technological world, distractions are common. Reading regularly can significantly improve an individual’s ability to concentrate
while
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studying and working. In conclusion, both reading and playing with their children can
also
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help them to improve their knowledge and
improve
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apply
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essential skills.

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task achievement
Make sure your main ideas are clearly presented and supported in each paragraph. This will help your reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer linking words to connect your ideas. This will improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with grammar and sentence structure to avoid confusion. This will help your essay be more understandable.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
task achievement
You addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.
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