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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays a growing number of boys and girls within normal weight ranges have an intense fear of gaining weight and therefore get anorexia. Why do you think a lot of teenagers have a strong desire to be skinny? What can be done to prevent this eating disorder?

In the transition from early to mid-adolescence, gender differences in pubertal development become significant.The desire to be slim and fit among
teenagers
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 has increased so much so that it has led to health disorders
such
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 as Anorexia.
Firstly
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, Eating disorders play a huge role in intensifying the fear of weight gain because they can restrict or overconsume food in a day.
As a result
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,
this
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 phenomenon disrupts the food ration.
This
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 is mainly caused by a lack of healthy eating knowledge among
teenagers
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. The government should provide health and nutrition education in schools. They need to be taught about balanced nutrition and the dangers of extreme dieting.
For example
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, pupils should study healthy lifestyle lessons weekly. Nowadays, they need to be given information about developing different kinds of
diet
Use the right word
diet-related
show examples
 diseases.
Thus
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, the young generation can be protected from obesity or thinness issues.
Moreover
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, Social
media
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 may have a negative influence on
teenagers
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, as many of them follow celebrities on
platforms
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 like TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, which can lead to unrealistic body expectations and low self-esteem. Governments and
platforms
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 should regulate harmful
media
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 content,
such
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 as unrealistic beauty standards, diet advertisements, or edited body images that affect
teenagers
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' self-esteem. If governments and
platforms
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 do not restrict, penalise, or ban harmful famous people. They could negatively affect the mental and physical health of the growing young generation. They have to regulate harmful
media
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 content,
such
Linking Words
 as unrealistic beauty standards, diet advertisements, or edited body images that affect
teenagers
Use synonyms
' self-esteem. In conclusion, it is important for governments and social
media
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platforms
Use synonyms
 to regulate harmful content and promote more realistic, diverse, and body-positive representations online.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and develop it fully with explanations and examples.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points, as this strengthens your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better and ensure a smooth flow of information.
Task Achievement
You have identified important causes of anorexia and suggested solutions related to education and social media.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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