IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given line graphs illustrate the percentages of electrical
appliances' ownerships
Check wording
appliances
show examples
 and the
hours
Use synonyms
 per week spent doing housework in one country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are two noticeable points in the line graphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
overall
Linking Words
 trend of housework
hours
Use synonyms
 was reducing throughout the entire time.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of houses with electric appliances went up. As presented in the upper line graph, beginning in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1920, the percentage of households owning washing machines started at 40%, and the percentage slightly rose to more than 70% in 2019. Not any houses owned the refrigerator in 1920, but the proportions rocketed to 100% in just 60 years in 1980. For vacuum cleaners, starting from 1920, the percentages went up from 30% to 100%
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2000. The number of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent on housework per week
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
significantly dropped from 50
hours
Use synonyms
 to 20
hours
Use synonyms
 per week in 1960
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 After
, it
Correct pronoun usage
that, it
show examples
 kept a little decrease to just over 10
hours
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2019.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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