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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the resuits of a survey about people's coffee and teabuying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.Summarise the information by seiecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the resuits of a survey about people's coffee and teabuying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.Summarise the information by seiecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The bar chart provides key information about how Australian residents bought and drink
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in five different
cities
Use synonyms
, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, and Hobart, in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest proportion of citizens went to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in all
cities
Use synonyms
 except
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, it took the second highest percentage.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the figure shows that those who bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 took the lowest percentage in all five
cities
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, over 60
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 of the residents went to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks in Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart,
while
Linking Words
 the equivalent figures for Brisbane and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 show approximately 55
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 and 50
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. In all five
cities
Use synonyms
, by far,
bought
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 ranked as the lowest proportion of the Australian population in the given period.
However
Linking Words
, it was around 40
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 in Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart. And about 35
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 in Brisbane and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
bouth
Correct your spelling
both
 instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 ranked as the second way to drink
coffee
Use synonyms
 in all given regions of Australia except in
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, which is the first.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities, adelaide, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • coffee
  • tea
  • buying habits
  • drinking habits
  • city
  • percentage
  • compare
  • trend
  • age group
  • prefer
  • daily
  • weekly
  • occasional
  • habit
  • popular
  • results
  • features
  • identify
  • analyze
  • note
  • distinguish
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