IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram illustrates the several process by which bricks are manufactured for building plants

The diagram illustrates the several process by which bricks are manufactured for building plants
The diagram illustrates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
several
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
 by which
bricks
Use synonyms
 are manufactured for building plants First of all, the clay is
digged
Verb problem
dug
show examples
 from
earth’s
Correct article usage
the earth’s
show examples
 surface by diggers and
then
Linking Words
 carried out to the metal grid for making the clay
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
smaller . After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the roller rolls the clay when
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it adds sand and water to make two types of
bricks
Use synonyms
 .
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 type of
bricks
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 divided by wire cutter
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
 , another
one
Check wording
type
show examples
 is made by mould
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is
Verb problem
makes it
show examples
 easy
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
bricks
Use synonyms
.From
this
Linking Words
,
bricks
Use synonyms
 are put into the drying oven for 24-48 hours to get hard
bricks
Use synonyms
.At
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 stage of the process,ready
bricks
Use synonyms
 after
oven
Correct article usage
the oven
show examples
 are put into the hot kiln for moderating with
200’C-980’C
Correct your spelling
200 °C-980 °C
 and
more high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
degree
Check wording
temperatures
show examples
 for about
870’C-1300’C
Correct your spelling
870 °C-1300 °C
.Following that,the
bricks
Use synonyms
 which
degreed
Verb problem
are degreed
show examples
 in the kiln
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 cooled
48
Change preposition
for 48
show examples
-72 hours
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
cooling
Correct article usage
a cooling
show examples
 chamber for not
breaking
Wrong verb form
break
show examples
 and building industries for
staying
Verb problem
apply
show examples
many years . The
bricks
Use synonyms
 are
subsequently
Linking Words
 ready for packaging and delivering
fur
Use the right word
for
show examples
 building. The brick manufacturing is
gotten
Verb problem
done in
show examples
Correct article usage
a forms
show examples
forms
Fix the agreement mistake
form
show examples
 because of value technicals
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
then
Linking Words
 the brick is transported

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: