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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the favourite takeaways of people in Canada and the number of Indian restaurants in Canada between 1960 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the favourite takeaways of people in Canada and the number of Indian restaurants in Canada between 1960 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart presents individuals'
favourite
Use synonyms
takeaways
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
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,
while
Linking Words
 the other chart shows the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Indian
Use synonyms
restaurants
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
 from 1960 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it has been clear that Chinese people are the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
favourite
Use synonyms
takeaways
Use synonyms
. It is 34%. The lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
favourite
Use synonyms
takeaways
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 Mexican and Greek. Their percentages are 1%. The other chart indicates that the highest
number
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 of
restaurants
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 approximately 9000 in 2015.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest
number
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 of
restaurants
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 in
Canada
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 was nearly 30 in 1960.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Chinese people have the highest
percentage
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 of
favourite
Use synonyms
takeaways
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. Which is 34%. The
favourite
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takeaways
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 of
Indian
Use synonyms
 individuals are 26%. Italian’s
favourite
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 takeaway is 10%.
Persian’s
Check wording
Persians’
show examples
favourite
Use synonyms
 takeaway
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 estimated at 9%. Which considers the low
percentage
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 but not the lowest. Thai, Mexican, and Greek are the lowest
percentage
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 of
favourite
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 takeaway
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 their percentages are between 1%-3%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
Indian
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restaurants
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
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 was only 35 in 1960. It is slightly increasing the
number
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 of
restaurants
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in
Change preposition
apply
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every 8 years. It increased sharply to 5000
restaurants
Use synonyms
 in 1990. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
Indian
Use synonyms
restaurants
Use synonyms
 rapidly increased to approximately 9000 in 2015.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words favourite, takeaways, canada, number, indian, restaurants, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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