IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career , while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school . Dicuss both views and give your opinion .

It is apparent that a successful
life
Use synonyms
 can be able in many ways
Some
Punctuation problem
. Some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 trust that if they are studying at a
university
Use synonyms
 or
college
Use synonyms
, it will help them complete their
career
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
believeIt
Correct your spelling
believe
 is apparent that
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
life
Use synonyms
will
Verb problem
can
show examples
 be able
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
Punctuation problem
. some
show examples
some
Fix capitalization
Some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 trust
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
 they are studying at
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 or
Use synonyms
college
Punctuation problem
college,
show examples
 it will help them complete
Use synonyms
career
Correct pronoun usage
their career
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, some
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 believe
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
 they get a
job
Use synonyms
 immediately
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
after
show examples
 they just
passed
Verb problem
graduated
show examples
 from high
school
Punctuation problem
school,
show examples
 it will
be bringing
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
 more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 for them. In the following paragraphs,
both
Use synonyms
 of these viewpoints will be discussed in detail before a
conclusion
Use synonyms
 is reached.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
that
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 studying at
university
Use synonyms
 or
college
Use synonyms
a
Verb problem
needs a
show examples
lots
Fix the agreement mistake
lot
show examples
 of occupational
want
Verb problem
apply
show examples
qualifications before starting
work
Use synonyms
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 some
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 to graduate from
university
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a doctor who
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
career
Use synonyms
 must have
property
Check wording
a degree
show examples
 from
university
Use synonyms
 because
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
there is
Verb problem
involves
show examples
 a risk to human
life
Use synonyms
 and death
Punctuation problem
. if
show examples
if
Fix capitalization
If
show examples
 who finished
university
Use synonyms
 or
Use synonyms
college
Punctuation problem
college,
show examples
 it will help them to get a
job
Use synonyms
 easier
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 never
have
Verb problem
received
show examples
degree
Correct article usage
a degree
show examples
about
Change preposition
from
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 or
college
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
employer's
Check wording
employers
show examples
 need
work
Use synonyms
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
employees
Check wording
who do
show examples
no
Rephrase
not
show examples
 need to have
Correct word choice
certain condition
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 can start
work
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
immediately.
For instance
Linking Words
, construction if who
strongly
Replace the word
strong
show examples
and
Check wording
skills and
show examples
skill
Check wording
apply
show examples
good
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 they will
give
Wrong verb form
be given
show examples
 a
job
Use synonyms
 for
work
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
opportunities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as influencers
review
Wrong verb form
reviewing
show examples
 travel or
review
Wrong verb form
reviewing
show examples
 food
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
just
Verb problem
have just
show examples
created
Verb problem
been created
show examples
 about Video
clip
Fix the agreement mistake
clips
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
post
Wrong verb form
are posted
show examples
 on social media
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 can
work
Use synonyms
 every time. In
conclusion
Use synonyms
,
both
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
views will give
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 and
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 for
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
person
Use synonyms
have been deciding
Wrong verb form
to decide
show examples
.
Due to
Linking Words
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
career
Use synonyms
 for
individuals
Add a comma
individuals,
show examples
 it is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 different way it
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on
situation
Correct article usage
the situation
show examples
 and
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
that if
Correct word choice
If
show examples
 they get a position immediately after they just graduated from high school, it will bring more
opportunities
Use synonyms
 for them. In the following paragraphs,
both
Use synonyms
 of these viewpoints will be discussed in detail before a
conclusion
Use synonyms
 is reached.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
a somebody
Use the right word
someone
show examples
 studying at
educational
Correct article usage
an educational
show examples
 institution or
college
Use synonyms
 needs
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of occupational qualifications before starting
performance
Check wording
a career
show examples
, especially some professionals who have to graduate from
university
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a doctor who wants to industry in
this
Linking Words
career
Use synonyms
 must have a degree from
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 because
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 involves a risk to human
life
Use synonyms
 and death.
who
Correct pronoun usage
Those who
show examples
 have finished
university
Use synonyms
 or
college
Use synonyms
 will find it easier to get a
job
Use synonyms
 than those who have never degree from
university
Use synonyms
 or
college
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many employers need
work
Use synonyms
 skills
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 do not
need to have
Verb problem
require specific
show examples
 conditions
can
Correct word choice
and can
show examples
 start
work
Use synonyms
 immediately.
For instance
Linking Words
, construction if who strong skills and good
work
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be given a
job
Use synonyms
 for
work
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, other
opportunities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as influencers reviewing travel or reviewing food restaurants have been created about Video clips and
then
Linking Words
 posted on social media , so that
people
Use synonyms
 can
work
Use synonyms
 every time. In
conclusion
Use synonyms
,
both
Use synonyms
 views will give benefits and
opportunities
Use synonyms
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 to decide.
Due to
Linking Words
 a successful
career
Use synonyms
 for individuals, it is a very different way ; it depends on the situation and their
life
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on constructing clear sentences. Take time to organize your ideas before writing.
task achievement
Make sure to keep your paragraphs focused. Each paragraph should discuss one main idea.
task achievement
Use examples that are clear and relevant to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
You made an effort to present both sides of the argument, which is important.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction gives a good overview of what the essay will discuss.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • specialized knowledge
  • technical skills
  • formal qualifications
  • diverse perspectives
  • soft skills
  • networking opportunities
  • entrepreneurial aspirations
  • early work experience
  • financial independence
  • skill development
  • apprenticeships
  • entry-level positions
  • practical experience
What to do next:
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