IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

I believe it should be a basic common sense that every person should
aware
Verb problem
be aware
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 of, no matter their financial status. Technically,
this
Linking Words
 awareness shouldn't have any age
and
Correct word choice
or
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 gender boundaries. Everyone
even
Punctuation problem
, even
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 at
the
Correct article usage
a
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 young
age
Punctuation problem
age,
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 should learn about how they can be financially secure. Sadly, our education system
not
Verb problem
does not
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accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
this
Linking Words
 basic life lesson. A lot of people tend to learn the hard way and based on their own life experiences. Imagine what a healthy society it would be if a lot of us learn how the
money
Use synonyms
 works. I think that it's not only how we save
money
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 but escalate it to how we invest it to be financially secure. I agree that to introduce the young
about
Change preposition
to
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 financial
topics
Punctuation problem
topics,
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 it can be
form
Replace the word
formed
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in
Change preposition
into
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small
Correct article usage
a small
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 daily habit
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 we should make it fun.
For example
Linking Words
, we can give our kids some
money
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 as a reward when they
done
Verb problem
have done
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 chores or homework. Make a list of things they want to buy with their
money
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 so they have goals to achieve. We can even make our children their own bank account so they feel like they can play pretend like a responsible
adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, I see more benefits
rather
Rephrase
apply
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than negatives
on
Change preposition
in
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 teaching young kids about saving and
responsible
Correct article usage
the responsible
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 use of
money
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 could create a good habit that they can follow and adjust to their own needs as they grow to be an adult. We give
glimpse
Correct article usage
a glimpse
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how
Change preposition
of how
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 the
way
Check wording
apply
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world works so they are not surprised.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your main opinion.
coherence cohesion
Try to connect your ideas better with linking words like 'however' and 'also'.
task achievement
Add more examples to support your points about saving money.
content
You mentioned the importance of teaching children about money early on.
content
You provided some creative ideas for teaching kids about saving.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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