IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of trips initiated by kids to go and return from school in a certain country in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were five types of
mode
Fix the agreement mistake
modes
show examples
 (car passenger
.
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 walking, cycling, walking and
bus
Use synonyms
, and
bus
Use synonyms
) that students aged five to twelve usually picked for
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 to and from school. Walking
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 the most
favorite
Use the right word
favourite
show examples
 trip in 1990, but changed to car passenger in the next 20 years. In 1990, car passenger was the least
type
Verb problem
chosen type
show examples
 the children chose that just
above
Change preposition
over
show examples
 4
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 in total, which
so
Verb problem
was so
show examples
 much lower than what
was
Correct pronoun usage
it was
show examples
 in
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
 as it became the highest
than
Change preposition
of
show examples
other
Use the right word
the
show examples
 four categories. The children tend to go
school
Change preposition
to school
show examples
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 walking since it had peak total trips in 1990. Cycling, walking, and
bus
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 were accounted
having
Change preposition
for having
show examples
 no significant difference in terms of total number of
travels
Punctuation problem
travels,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slightly above and below
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
6
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
show examples
 in 2010, cycling was the most
unfavorable
Use the right word
unfavourable
show examples
 option for kids
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
which
Use the right word
with
show examples
 was
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, and it was followed by modes of walking
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
show examples
 with
bus
Use synonyms
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as via
bus
Use synonyms
 only
that
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the amount
totals
Check wording
amounts
show examples
were
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 about 3
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 and 5
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
, respectively.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words bus, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trips
  • children
  • modes of transport
  • walk
  • cycle
  • public transport
  • drive
  • car
  • trends
  • decrease
  • increase
  • shift
  • convenient
  • comfortable
  • commuting
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • significant
  • indicate
  • reasons
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • 20-year period
  • doubled
  • considerable margin
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