IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the proportion of renewable energy of total supply in 2000, 2004 and 2007.

The graph below shows the proportion of renewable energy of total supply in 2000, 2004 and 2007.
The bar chart illustrates the amount of renewable resources that
supplied
Verb problem
were supplied
show examples
 to
Australia
Use synonyms
, Germany,
Norway
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, and
Iceland
Use synonyms
 in the years 2000, 2004, and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest percentage was
at
Change preposition
in
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Norway
Use synonyms
 and the lowest was
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
Australia
Use synonyms
 over the period.
In addition
Linking Words
, the proportion of delivered energy
was
Verb problem
apply
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rose slightly in Germany and
Norway
Use synonyms
 compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two countries. The consumption of renewable sources
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
grew noticeably in
German
Replace the word
Germany
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 and
Norway
Use synonyms
 without any fluctuations compared to , unlike in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
Iceland
Use synonyms
. In
Norway
Use synonyms
,grew from approximately 60% in 2000 to nearly 80% in 2007. Meanwhile, Germany had experienced a slight rise of about 5% over the same period. Despite the fact that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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Iceland
Use synonyms
 and
Australia
Use synonyms
 had some noticeable growth in 2004, both of them declined slightly .
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the amount of energy consumed by
Iceland
Use synonyms
 was in second place
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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half,
while
Linking Words
Australia
Use synonyms
 was
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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with only 10% in 2007.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
Iceland
Use synonyms
 ranked second in terms of energy consumption, at just over half,
while
Linking Words
Australia
Use synonyms
 had the lowest figure, with only 10% in 2007

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "nevertheless, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, norway, iceland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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