IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Learning about the past has no valve for those of us living in the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is currently a contentious argument over whether
history
Use synonyms
 is valuable or not for us living in
this
Linking Words
 era. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion because we learn from our previous mistakes, and it
also
Linking Words
 provides us with a cultural
identity
Use synonyms
 and inspires progress. The main reason why I believe that
history
Use synonyms
 is valuable for us is that
history
Use synonyms
 helps us avoid errors that
happened
Verb problem
have happened
show examples
 in the past.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to a future with more accurate and positive experiences that will definitely benefit humanity. A good example of
that is
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
World War II has made people from around the world understand the consequences of wars, and
hence
Linking Words
 international
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as the United promoting peace all over the globe. Another reason why I support the notion that learning about the past is not pointless for people living today is that it builds cultural
identity
Use synonyms
 and inspires progress.
In other words
Linking Words
, it gives people a sense of
identity
Use synonyms
 and helps strengthen national bonds and unity. Independence Day struggles,
for instance
Linking Words
, inspire patriotism. In conclusion, I totally disagree with the notion that
history
Use synonyms
 is pointless to us living nowadays because we avoid repeating the same mistakes over and over, and it helps us shape our cultural
identity
Use synonyms
 and encourages us to move forward.

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task achievement
Make sure all your main points are well-supported with examples and explanations. Some points could use a bit more detail and development.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows clearly into the next. You might want to use linking phrases to improve connections between ideas.
task achievement
Try to elaborate a bit more on your examples. For instance, explain how Independence Day struggles have shaped your culture or identity.
coherence and cohesion
Make your introduction and conclusion more clear. Restate your main points briefly in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.
task achievement
Your main points are clear and supported by relevant examples, particularly in relation to World War II.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of how history can influence our identity and choices in the present.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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