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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information about a public library in a town called Little Chalfont. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about a public library in a town called Little Chalfont. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The charts illustrate three primary
Check wording
pieces information
show examples
information of
Correct word order
of information
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Little
Change preposition
about Little
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 Chalfont library, including the age of library members in 2016, the total
loans
Use synonyms
 by category in 2016, and the total number of
loans
Use synonyms
 from 2007 to 2016. From the data of the pie chart in 2016,
adults
Use synonyms
 who are
from
Change preposition
between
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 18 to 64 years old
accounts
Fix the agreement mistake
account
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to
Change preposition
for
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 half of
library
Correct article usage
the library
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 members
about
Punctuation problem
, about
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 51%. Meanwhile,
Children
Use synonyms
 are the second main resource of members with 22%. Young
adults
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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age
Replace the word
aged
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from
Change preposition
apply
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13 to 17 and older people who are 65 years old and over are about 15% and 12%, respectively.
According to
Linking Words
 the form of the total
loans
Use synonyms
 by category in 2016, the preference of both
children
Use synonyms
 and
adults
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 always fiction,
accounts
Wrong verb form
accounting
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 for 38 %.
Besides
Linking Words
, adult non-fiction is
also
Linking Words
 popular with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 percentage of 13%,
while
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
's non-fiction is relatively less than
adults
Use synonyms
 about 6%.
Digial
Correct your spelling
Digital
 products
such
Linking Words
 as
children
Use synonyms
's DVDs and Adult
audio books
Use the right word
audiobooks
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 are the least
Use synonyms
loans
Check wording
borrowed, at
show examples
 about 1% and 2%,
separately
Rephrase
respectively
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.
Overall
Linking Words
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the total number of
loans
Use synonyms
 are increasingly increasing from about
over
Rephrase
apply
show examples
15,000 in 2007 to about
over
Rephrase
apply
show examples
20,000 in 2016.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words loans, adults, children with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
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