IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people think that the behavior of professional sportmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that the off-
field
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behavior
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behaviour
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 of professional sportsmen is not important, as long as they perform well in their
sport
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.
While
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this
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 view is common, I strongly disagree. I believe that a sportsman's
Use synonyms
behavior
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behaviour
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, both on and off the
field
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, plays a crucial role in their influence on society and the
overall
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 spirit of the
sport
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.
Sport
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 is not just about physical performance; it
also
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 teaches values like teamwork, respect, and discipline. A player's
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 off the
field
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 reflects these values.
For example
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, athletes are often seen as role models, especially by younger generations. If a talented player behaves poorly in public, it sends the wrong message, regardless of how well they perform on the
field
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. In today's society, where athletes have strong public influence through social media and global attention, their actions can have a wide impact. A respectful and socially responsible athlete promotes positive values,
while
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 one who acts irresponsibly can damage both their reputation and the image of the
sport
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 itself.
Additionally
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, sports often bring people from different backgrounds together. Players who demonstrate respect, kindness, and professionalism help build an inclusive and inspiring atmosphere.
This
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 not only benefits the
sport
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 but
also
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 contributes to a healthier society. In conclusion, I believe that professional sportsmen should behave responsibly both on and off the
field
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. Talent alone is not enough—character and
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behavior
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behaviour
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 matter just as much in shaping the positive influence of
sport
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.

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task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points.
coherence & cohesion
Use varied linking words to improve flow between ideas.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic.
coherence & cohesion
The conclusion nicely summarizes your main points and reinforces your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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