IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The youth crime rate is rising rapidly in many countries. What is the reason for this trend? What can parents and teachers do to solve it?

Crimes are burgeoning day by day in various nations, where it is stated that
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 the most proportion of the crime rates are committed by the youth generation. The reasons behind
this
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 trend are articulated in the upcoming paragraphs ,
along with
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 the possible solutions which can be taken into consideration by guardians and educators. The prime reason behind
this
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 act is
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 because of the influence which is created by external sources,
such
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 as movies and television programs, which portray minimal types of crime scenes like pickpocketing
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 and burglary.
Moreover
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, teenagers have a hunger to earn money in any way to represent themselves in the mature world, which ultimately says that they want to be on an early success list.
For instance
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, in high schools, many of the students are engaged with the drug dealers on account of selling drugs and start earning money.
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, the individuals who got stuck in prison for a small period, during that time , are encouraged by the other felony minded members and become part of more cruel crimes. The possible solutions to reduce the rate of crimes are,
firstly
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, parents can restrict their children from watching movies and their content which are not suitable for their age. Another solution is, they should be taught the difference between bad and good decisions from their childhood, where they start understanding. Within that, showcasing them real-life examples
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 might help them to get more clarity and vision.
To conclude
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, there are numerous reasons for getting committed
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however
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, it can be resolved by the proper steps, including more clarity , which helps them to become a generous person.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports your overall argument. Use clear examples to explain your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures and link your ideas more smoothly. This will help your writing flow better.
task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines what you will discuss. Include a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and ideas.
task achievement
Provide specific examples for your ideas. This will make your argument stronger and show that you understand the topic well.
task achievement
You have identified important reasons for youth crime, such as media influence and peer pressure. This shows good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps make your argument clearer.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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