IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The issue of whether advertising could make us ignore it because of
it's
Use the right word
its
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 ordinary
or
Check wording
nature or
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 it has effectively promoted
people
Use synonyms
 to buy things has been argued recently. From my perspective, advertising
to
Verb problem
needs to
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 be more successful at persuading us to buy things than
we
Rephrase
when we
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 started shopping. On the one hand, many products have their own advertisements. The
volumn
Correct your spelling
volume
 of advertisements in modern society has led many
people
Use synonyms
 to become numb to them. We encounter them on television, social media,
billbords
Correct your spelling
billboards
, and even in our emails are flooded with them.
This
Linking Words
 constant exposure creates a sense of pressure, leading us to ignore or actively avoid advertising.
For example
Linking Words
,
amount
Check wording
the number
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 of
people
Use synonyms
use
Correct pronoun usage
who use
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 ad blockers online, fast through commercials
while
Linking Words
 watching TV or buy
membership
Correct article usage
a membership
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 to skip ads, reflecting their lack of engagement with advertising.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, advertising has a significant impact on consumers. Advertisers employ sophisticated techniques
such
Linking Words
 as emotional appeals, celebrity endorsements, and targeted messaging to stimulate consumers' desire for products.
For instance
Linking Words
, a
clothes
Check wording
piece of clothing
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 may not be well-known, but once a celebrity wears it for promotional purposes, fans will rush to buy the same style so
that
Correct word choice
which
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boosting
Wrong verb form
boosts
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 sales of that item and even the entire brand.
Under
Change preposition
From
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 my standpoint, advertising really does capture the public's imagination. It knows what kind of patterns appeal to mass consumption. It
also
Linking Words
 grasps
people
Use synonyms
's psychology and
understand
Correct subject-verb agreement
understands
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 they prefer affordable products. And ads enable them to buy what they need. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the fact that advertising may cause
people
Use synonyms
 to overlook it, my view is that it still
possess
Correct subject-verb agreement
possesses
show examples
 remarkable persuasive power.

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planning
Plan your essay with a short plan: say what you will write in the order of 3 parts: one side, other side, your view.
structure
Make a clear introduction that states the issue and your view at the end.
grammar
Use simple grammar. Check subject and verb in each sentence. Fix 'it's' vs 'its' and 'amount' to 'many' or 'a lot'.
linking
Use linking words to join ideas: also, but, however, for example, first, in conclusion.
content
Give one or two clear examples for each point to show you mean it.
content
The essay tries to talk about both sides.
content
There are some good ideas on how ads can affect buyers.
structure
The ending states a view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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