IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Recently, an increasing number of
people
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 are concerned about the use of printed newspapers and online
books
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. Whether printed
books
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 will be replaced by online ones in the future is a controversial issue, as some argue that in the future nobody will buy printed
books
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.
While
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this
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 perspective has its own logic, I still strongly disagree with
this
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 statement. Admittedly, the online
books
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 convenient for
people
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 to read, but
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
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 still charge for
the
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apply
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most
websites
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.
As
Change preposition
With
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 the high
developments
Check wording
development
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 of online journals , an increasing number of
business
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businesses
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 in terms of online reading
websites
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 were established to push the
market
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 to be more popular.
For instance
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,
people
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 can use various applications,
such
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 as Apple reading, Tomato reading, and so on,where
people
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 can find almost every modern
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books
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book
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 and
journals
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journal
show examples
.
Wheras
Correct your spelling
Whereas
 most of the
websites
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 choose to charge and let
people
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cost
Verb problem
pay
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 to be a member to give them
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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for reading
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to read
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.
Besides
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, different
websites
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 have different
collocation
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collections
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 of
books
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. Which means
people
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 may not find what they want in one single
websits
Correct your spelling
website
.
Therefore
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, reading online
don't
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
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means
Wrong verb form
mean
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 free. The online reading is a big business in the
market
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, so the
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 of reading without paying may not have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to achieve despite
of
Change preposition
apply
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the pirate
websites
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.
However
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, not everyone likes reading online. Compared with online reading, printed ones can give
people
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 a real touch
while
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 they are turning the pages.
For example
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, many famous printed
books
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, which you can
also
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 find on official
websites
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, still sell with high turnover. Most
people
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 are still obsessed with the true feeling of the printed
books
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 and newspapers, even though online ones have a lower price.
Besides
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, the printed
books
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 can relieve
eyesight’s
Check wording
eye
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 stress, which means
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
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 would be the premier choice for the children’s parents.
Therefore
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, the printed
books
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 still play a key role in
people
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’s reading choices. The way of online reading will be more popular in the future
due to
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 the high benefits in the
market
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,
whereas
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
printed
books
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 won't disappear
due to
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 the preference of some
people
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. In my view, printed
books
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 will never be replaced by the way of reading online under the current development of the
market
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in each body part.
task response
Give clearer main ideas and explain them with simple steps.
task response
Use more exact examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences clearer at the start of each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly with simple words like however, also, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph structure.
task response
You compare online reading and printed books, which stays on topic.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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