IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

As advertising has become successful, some
people
Use synonyms
 would like to refer to it to pick things,
whereas
Linking Words
 other
people
Use synonyms
 consider advertising
is
Wrong verb form
to be
show examples
 too common to attract customers. In my opinion,
excepting
Wrong verb form
except for
show examples
 successful or common
, advertising
Check wording
advertising, advertising
show examples
 may cause failure.
Due to
Linking Words
 plenty of methods to endorse
advertisements
Use synonyms
, advertising is successful
to make
Change preposition
in making
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
trust them.
For example
Linking Words
, if an enterprise hires a star as its brand ambassador to improve the credibility of its
products
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 will be more willing to purchase these goods.
This
Linking Words
 means that reducing the uncertainty risk of
products
Use synonyms
 for enterprises is a way to win the
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of consumers.
As
Change preposition
With
show examples
 the fierce competition in advertising nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 are exposed to too many
advertisements
Use synonyms
 in their lives to surprise them.
For instance
Linking Words
, whenever
people
Use synonyms
 encounter
advertisements
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 watching videos, they tend to take a break rather than learning about the content of the
advertisements
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, advertising has become a period of time that
people
Use synonyms
 will find ways to pass. As we
known
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
, advertising occasionally
encounter
Correct subject-verb agreement
encounters
show examples
 some problems, leading to some losses to the enterprise. One clear example of
this
Linking Words
 is a brand ambassador deeply embroiled in scandals will damage the image of related
products
Use synonyms
, causing customers
avoid
Verb problem
to avoid
show examples
 the
products
Use synonyms
 to reduce uncertainty risks. In conclusion, some
people
Use synonyms
 are in favour of advertising
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 successful or common mainly because successful advertising brings real profits or daily advertising has become a
seasoning
Check wording
part
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
's lives.
However
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe enterprises should be cautious of the negative impact that advertising may bring.

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planning
Make a clear plan before writing. Put a strong view in the first paragraph and restate it in the end.
content
Give a balanced view. For each side, add clear why it is good or bad, then add your view.
examples
Use specific and simple examples that relate to the point you make.
language
Check grammar and small mistakes. Use simple form and correct spelling.
coherence
Link ideas with clear transitions. Use words like 'first', 'then', 'also', 'however' and 'finally'.
structure
There is a clear attempt to discuss both sides and to give your own view.
content
Examples are used to show the point.
conclusion
Conclusion tries to finish the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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