IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is a well-discussed topic that non-native speakers may face tangible social and practical problems
while
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 living overseas.
While
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 some people strongly believe that speaking in another
language
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 does not have any impact on an individual’s
life
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, I truly reckon that knowing a local tongue is not enough to feel free in
an
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a
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 foreign territory. A compelling argument is
a
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that a
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cultural background
that
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apply
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cannot be acquired with a foreign
language
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,
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;
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however
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 has a substantial effect on the social
life
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 of every nation. Communication with natives without knowing their traditions and rituals may pose some misunderstandings that will ruin a newcomer’s social adaptation. A simple illustration of it is a greeting in some cultures.
For example
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, in Kazakhstan, greeting with two hands is a sign of respect, and not
following
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this
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 unspoken rule can fail the first impression of an immigrant, even
they
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if they
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 can speak the local
language
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. Another reason that affects
on
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apply
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a newcomer’s social
life
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 is a fear of communication with locals in their
language
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. As people are not able to communicate brilliantly in another
tonque
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tongue
 instantly, they are usually scared to start a conversation with natives.
Moreover
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, if individuals around do not give any help or support to newcomers, their social isolation and insecurity will only grow.
As a result
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, fear of using a foreign
language
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also
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 plays a crucial role in a person’s adaptation and cannot be ignored.
To conclude
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, developing social
life
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 in an abroad country is highly impacted by numerous factors
such
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 as cultural differences, confidence of an immigrant and others, except knowing the local tongue.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction has a clear thesis statement that shows your opinion clearly. This helps the reader know your position from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Try to add a concluding sentence at the end of each paragraph to help connect your ideas. This makes your writing flow better and is easier to follow.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or experiences that support your points. This will help to strengthen your arguments and show your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have good examples of how cultural background affects social life. This adds depth to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay uses a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a good approach.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
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