In many countries, too much money was spent by government and individuals on national celebration such as New Year and religious festivals. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In recent years, spending on national days and festivals has increased

very

Rephrase

apply

show examples

significantly. Some people argue that expenditure of excessive amounts of money on these celebrations is not a wise use of resources.

Instead

Linking Words

, it should be allocated toward more pressing needs. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I shall elaborate on both perspectives before citing my logical inference. To commence with, there are a

myraid

Correct your spelling

myriad

benefits associated with

this

Linking Words

for

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

. The cardinal one is that national celebrations play a crucial role in preserving cultural heritage and fostering a sense of community and national pride. To make it clear,

such

Linking Words

type

Correct article usage

a type

show examples

Use synonyms

events

Fix the agreement mistake

event

show examples

enocourage

Correct your spelling

encourages

citizens to come together and

celberate

Correct your spelling

celebrate

without any cultural

diffrence

Correct your spelling

difference

Secondly

Linking Words

, these can

also

Linking Words

boost the economy by promoting tourism and supporting local businesses.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, use of excessive

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

of money is a misallocation of public funds, which may

effect

Use the right word

affect

show examples

other public services

such

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

healthcare,

eduaction

Correct your spelling

education

povery

Correct your spelling

poverty

relief and infrastructure.

In addition

Linking Words

, in many countries, inhabitants struggle with basic needs, yet

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

still invest millions in

firework

Fix the agreement mistake

fireworks

show examples

decoration

Fix the agreement mistake

decorations

show examples

and temporary

events

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

rises

Use the right word

raises

show examples

questions about priorities, especially when money could be used for improving

life

Check wording

the lives

show examples

of folks.

Last

Linking Words

but not least,

large scale

Use the right word

large-scale

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

celebrations can have

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

show examples

environmental impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, air pollution and noise pollution from fireworks, excessive waste from parties and

prades

Correct your spelling

parades

. To put it

succiently

Correct your spelling

succinctly

, all these demerits have a negative impact on

individuals

Check wording

individuals'

show examples

well-being.

To sum up

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

these

events

Use synonyms

preserve cultural identities and

promotes

Correct subject-verb agreement

promote

show examples

unity, but

Linking Words

also can

Correct word order

can also

show examples

lead to financial strain, pollution and neglect of public needs.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I strongly agree that

utilizatuon

Correct your spelling

utilisation

of resources for

events

Use synonyms

is an unwise use

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

it is

responsibility

Correct article usage

the responsibility

show examples

of the government to

priortize

Correct your spelling

prioritise

basic

Correct article usage

the basic

show examples

needs of

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

over temporary

events

Use synonyms

sainiarsh070

Jul 21, 2025

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task achievement

Make sure your introduction includes a clear position statement. This helps set the tone for your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should have a main idea and supporting details.

task achievement

Use more specific examples to support your points. This makes your argument stronger and clearer.

coherence and cohesion

Check your spelling to improve clarity. For example, 'myriad' and 'utilization' should be spelled correctly.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure your conclusion summarizes the main points clearly and reinforces your main argument.

task achievement

You have presented a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is important.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, with paragraphs for each main idea, which helps readability.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

excessive spending
allocate resources
pressing needs
temporary pleasure
cultural heritage
fostering community
national pride
boost the economy
promoting tourism
social cohesion
investment in cultural preservation
budgeting and planning
moderation and strategic planning
cost-effective
vital areas

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In many countries, too much money was spent by government and individuals on national celebration such as New Year and religious festivals. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

when asked to choose between a life without workand working most of time , people would always choose not to work . do you agree or disagree?

The users of social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvatages?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?