IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In recent times, many people are making the decision to live alone. What are the causes of this? freedom, Does it have positive or negatives effects on society?

Nowadays, many individuals are motivated to achieve their tasks and
hence
Linking Words
 force themselves
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a situation of staying alone.
This
Linking Words
 essay with discuss the mindset of
this
Linking Words
 generation that compels them to stay alone and its effect on society. As the world is progressing at a very fast pace, making
people
Use synonyms
 more competitive in order to achieve their goals, so
people
Use synonyms
 have to travel across the globe to
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their dreams and for survival, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
stay alone in different regions or countries.
For instance
Linking Words
, one of my
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 recently moved to a different country to pursue his dream of becoming an aeronautical engineer
due to
Linking Words
 the limited resources available in our institutional system.
As a result
Linking Words
, he has to travel abroad and stay alone to
fulfill
Use the right word
fulfil
show examples
 his dream and passion.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the impact of living alone can lead to negative implications. When a person makes a decision to reside alone
while
Linking Words
 pursuing their academic goals in a different region, they often feel disconnected from the
people
Use synonyms
 residing with them. After working or studying the whole day, they generally do not have the motivation to go home or look forward to it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they will not be able to take care of themselves.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, their family members will be more worried all the
time
Use synonyms
. In case an emergency
arise
Correct subject-verb agreement
arises
show examples
, the immediate family member or the person residing alone will not be able to transit. These situations make
people
Use synonyms
 feel vulnerable
as well as
Linking Words
 create a sense of insecurity all the
time
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 feel alone
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 over a period of
time
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 loneliness can create psychological issues like anxiety, stress, and depression.
Overall
Linking Words
,
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 choose to stay alone for the fulfilment of their career opportunities,
while
Linking Words
 these situations give them a sense of freedom, but over a span of
time
Use synonyms
, create a void in their life. In my opinion, the government needs to implement policies for the betterment of individuals who make the decision to live alone and their
families
Punctuation problem
families,
show examples
 too.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but make sure to summarize key points in the conclusion. This helps the reader see the overall message more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas better between paragraphs. Use linking words like 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', and 'In addition' to make your writing flow smoothly.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing. For example, you could provide statistics or more personal stories.
task achievement
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea that is well explained. This will help in making your ideas more clear and understandable.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of the topic and present both sides of living alone. This shows critical thinking.
task achievement
Your writing expresses personal experiences, which adds depth to your essay and helps the reader connect with your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: