IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foregin language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country . Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both views and give your own pinion.

In
this
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 ongoing debate, some
people
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 believe that a person should be multilingual only for
work
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 or travel purposes in other countries,
while
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 others state that
this
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 should not be the only purpose of learning a new
language
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. In my opinion, learning multiple
languages
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 has many benefits other than
work
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 or travel. I will be discussing both viewpoints
while
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 asserting my position as mentioned above. On the one hand, some individuals believe that seeking a job in a different country requires communicating with
people
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 of that country, in order to get hired and
work
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 efficiently. Some multinational companies have requirements that employees must be fluent in different
languages
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.
Additionally
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, they need some sort of academic proof or certificate in linguistic proficiency to get a job in these companies.
For example
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,
according to
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 a report from the BBC, doctors and dentists from developing countries need to attain a higher score in
language
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 proficiency tests to secure a job in prestigious hospitals.
Therefore
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals aiming for
the
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apply
show examples
lucrative pay must be fluent in different
languages
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.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that there are additional benefits
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 learning new
languages
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. In order to acquire friends in a new country, it is quintessential to know the
language
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 so that you can communicate with the natives of that region. A prime example of
this
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 is Facebook, where
people
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 around the world communicate with each other, but they need a common
language
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 to understand each other efficiently.
Hence
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, it is quintessential to have effective knowledge and fluency in
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language
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the language
show examples
 where you are planning to move.
Overall
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, it can be clearly stated that
only
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the only
show examples
 reason for learning a
language
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 should not be travel or
work
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, but there are many other benefits that come out of it. In order to build a relationship or make friends, you should know how to communicate with locals, which is possible through their native
language
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Try to give more specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your arguments stronger.
coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support that idea. This will help with coherence.
coherence
Your introduction is good, but add a clearer thesis statement that directly states your opinion.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument well, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and illustrate your points, which helps make your argument clearer.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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